


Snakes Symbolize So Much More

by Thunderbirdswolvesandlilacs



Series: The Trials and Tribulations of the Mechanic and the Trickster [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, BAMF Loki (Marvel), Bisexual Everett Ross, Bisexual Loki (Marvel), Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bisexual T'Challa (Marvel), Bisexual Tony Stark, Bruce Banner & Valkyrie Friendship - Freeform, De-Aged Tony Stark, Demiromantic Steve Rogers, Developing Relationship, Extremis Tony Stark, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Groping, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Loki & Thor Friendship (Marvel), Loki is hella biased, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mind Control, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Mind Manipulation, Minor Bruce Banner/Betty Ross, Minor Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Minor Jane Foster/Thor, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Clint Barton Friendly, Not Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Mid-Credits Scene Compliant, Not Wanda Friendly, Not pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) compliant, Obsessive Behavior, Other, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Possessive Loki (Marvel), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Protective James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Protective Loki (Marvel), Public Display of Affection, Second Chances, Slow Burn, Sokovia Accords, Team Cap bashing, Thanos (Marvel) Dies, Thor is a troll, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unreliable Narrator, Verbal Sex, not team Cap friendly, one sided Wanda Maximoff/Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:54:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22035148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thunderbirdswolvesandlilacs/pseuds/Thunderbirdswolvesandlilacs
Summary: When you are placed in a box it can be hard to escape from those biases and...expectations.He was called a Trickster. The Snake.Betrayal. Lies. Untrustworthiness. Manipulation.That's what people thought of when they thought of the snake...When they thought of him.But now he had a second (cough third) chance to prove them wrong.Good thing for him there was an incredibly attractive and equally intelligent Mechanic to show him that being a snake means so much more than lies and deceit......Though those traits can be helpful too.
Relationships: Everett Ross/T'Challa, Loki/Tony Stark
Series: The Trials and Tribulations of the Mechanic and the Trickster [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1587700
Comments: 99
Kudos: 505





	1. Rebirth

**Author's Note:**

> Hi All!
> 
> So this is the first chapter of Sweet But Psycho from Loki's POV.
> 
> Enjoy!

**(Loki’s POV)**

Toss. Catch.

Toss. Catch.

Toss. Catch.

Toss. Snatch.

I turned my head slightly to the side to look in the direction of the gutsy CIA agent who had grabbed the handball I was tossing up in the air (a joke “gift” from Valkyrie to pass the time) whereas the other fodder agents hadn’t.

The older man just gave me an equally unimpressed look, no doubt trying to appear intimidating.

Key word: trying.

“I’m sorry are we boring you?” the older man sarcastically sneered, glaring down at me where I was laid sprawled out on my back on the bench waiting for the Midgardian Council to decide my so called fate.

“Incredibly” I deadpanned.

At least my sham of a sentencing on Asgard had been more entertaining than this.

“Good” the man stated, giving me a mildly gleeful sadistic grin.

Hmmm how cruel...I like him.

“Ross”

I turned my attention from the agent to the male who had managed a completely silent approach.

I hadn’t noticed him at all. Even now I still could hear no footsteps. Interesting.

“Your Highness” the man, now dubbed Ross, exclaimed, a lighter, happier look in his eyes though his expression and tone were still professional.

The younger male merely gave Ross an acknowledging nod, though I did not miss the quick once over he gave the older man.

Curioso.

“Need I remind you this is my job. What would you prefer I do?” I heard Ross mutter lowly as they tried to hide their ‘private’ conversation from me.

“I would prefer you not to antagonize such a dangerous unknown” T’Challa retorted, firmly though there was a clear note of concern in his tone as he glared my way.

So of course I waggled my fingers in his direction.

“Prince Loki. I am King T’Challa of Wakanda and a part-time member of the Avengers. I am to escort you inside the deliberation room” T’Challa informed me in a rather impressively formal way.

A royal canoodling with a commoner? How positively scandalous.

And my, it has been a while since anyone has respectfully acknowledged my royal status.

“Then lead the way your Majesty” I said sitting up and giving the man a shallow mocking bow.

T’Challa grit his teeth, but otherwise said nothing as we began to make our way to the deliberation room with one of his own personal guards.

And since I cannot help but poke my nose into others business and cause a bit of mischief (boredom truly is the most dangerous thing), “Your little spit-fire must be a handful”.

T’Challa wheeled on me, pleasantly prickled up like an offended cat defending its territory.

“I have no idea what you are speaking of” he replied sharply, his eyes issuing me an adorable little warning, much like a cat showing its claws.

“If you were going for discreet might I suggest less eye fucking?” I advised him, placing my one hand on his opposite shoulder to me so that I could lightly pull him toward me so that I could whisper my advice to him. For less witnesses of course.

My arm was of course swiftly removed from the King’s shoulder by his now fiercely offended guard.

I gave her a sharp smile at her continued grip on my hand, as if she was fighting the urge to attempt to detach it from my person.

My, this King certainly has an interesting entourage surrounding him doesn’t he?

“Okoye” T’Challa ordered commandingly, all three of us having paused our movements.

 _“If he touches you again I will be turning him into one of the decorations on the wall”_ Okoye promised, staring me down.

“I welcome the challenge” I declared back, grinning like a shark at their baffled expressions.

“The Allspeak is quite handy in breaking down language barriers” I said mockingly, answering the silent question for them.

“And I believe that we have wasted enough time as your personal amusement” T’Challa countered, having regained his composure.

How boring.

The rest of the walk to the deliberation room was positively snore worthy.

“You will enter through here to meet with the rest of the UN leaders. Know if you try anything the Avengers will detain you” T’Challa warned.

“What’s left of them anyway” I jabbed right back, making my way into the room, pleased at the slight clench of the King’s teeth at my barb.

Midgardians were always so much fun to toy with.

Though I had to hand it to...Zemo was it?

The Midgardian had achieved where I had failed that day on the helicarrier.

To divide the Avengers.

Though Odin knows there was so much internal conflict already there for the prodding it was a joke to have ever called them a team in the first place.

Watching the Avengers tear themselves apart by the careful manipulations of a single insignificant man must’ve been a glorious sight to behold.

Though my bumbling brother was not nearly as amused as I when the Man of Iron had first informed him of the Avengers' split when we had arrived in the _Statesman_ a few days ago.

It truly baffled me how he could not see the toxicity between his fellow “shieldmates”.

If anything I was surprised it hadn’t happened sooner.

Though the fact a mere piece of law had a hand in the split still left me internally shaking my head.

Even Thor had been disappointed to hear the Captain’s refusal to sign, having learned from his own similar stunt years ago when he carelessly very nearly instigated a war with Jotenheim.

I always did think the Captain was a bit pretentious and air-headed.

No self-respecting man would ever walk around in flag-decor tights unless for attention.

Though I suppose the pretentious outfit did its job in rousing the small-minded to his cause even when he was in the wrong.

And taking a discreet glance around the holographic panel of well over one hundred country leaders, inspiring the small-minded plebeians to my cause and worth was something I sorely needed as of this moment.

“Mr. Laufeyson” the man, US President Ellis according to his tag anyway, greeted coldly as I made my way next to my brother who was already tense with anger and frustration.

Not a particularly good sign for myself.

Nothing new there.

“Mr. Laufeyson-”

“ _Prince_ ” Thor cut in irately, “My brother is of royal blood, you will address him as such”

“Your brother is an international criminal. He should be grateful we are debating his...placement at all and not just tossing him in the Raft where he belongs” another quite irate man countered, though his anger seemed a bit more personal.

Reading his name plate I saw that it said Germany.

Ah. Now the anger made sense.

“My brother was tortured under the most fearsome tyrant in the galaxy until he broke. And once he had Thanos used his pain, his hatred, and gave him the Mind Stone knowing it would influence him and compel my brother to do his bidding by twisting the hatred he already had for myself and Earth and amplifying it. My brother was as much a victim as anyone else that day” Thor valiantly defended.

“Points you have already made abundantly clear Your Majesty, but that still does not change the fact thousands died as a result of your brother’s actions, and the fact that you cannot for certain assure us where his loyalties lie other than with himself” the Romanian leader callously countered.

Smart worm.

Irritating and presumptuous, but smart none-the-less.

“Then it is a good thing I’m here to clear things up for all of you” Stark proclaimed, bursting through the deliberation room doors with a confident flourish I could appreciate, sunglasses shielding his eyes from view as if the panel were not worthy enough to meet his very gaze.

“Mr. Stark, your presence here is not necessary” President Ellis assured him, sounding exasperated already.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t hear you over the sound of your own hypocrisy” Stark retorted flippantly, causing my lips to quirk up involuntarily in amusement.

“Mr. Stark this is a serious matter-”

“Johannesburg” Stark loudly proclaimed, cutting off the President and pulling up a holographic video of the Beast destroying parts of a town.

“Seoul”

A runaway train, car chase, and injured doctors.

“Sokovia”

A city atop a meteor crumbling to the ground.

“Lagos”

A burning building, screams of terror.

“Leipzig”

Vehicles raining down on the Man of Iron himself.

Apparently I missed quite a bit of the fun around here.

“Now let’s play a game. Who can tell me what each of these incidents have in common?” Stark questioned, speaking to the panel as if they were slow children.

Such an amusing turn of events.

“The Avengers” one pointed out.

“True. But I’m looking for something a tad bit more specific. Anyone else?” Stark inquired, looking around, “You. Buzz cut"

“The Rogue Avengers” the man stated, not even flinching at being placed on the spot or at the audacious insult.

“Getting warmer. You in the pearls and tight bun" Tony called out, pointing to a particularly severe looking woman.

“The Scarlet Witch” she confidently proclaimed.

“And ding ding we have a winner” Stark congratulated, however his expression suddenly dropped into one that was far more grave, an expression that immediately placed me on edge.

“That’s right. The Scarlet Witch everyone. The young woman who joined Hydra for the sake of revenge. The organization she abandoned without a second thought when they were no longer of any use to her and her brother. The young woman whose mental manipulation of myself was one of the factors in Ultron’s creation. The one who sided with Ultron to help him destroy the Avengers and create a better world, only to end up playing turncoat and siding with us instead when she and her brother realized they may be on the chopping block too. The young woman who under Rogers’ influence readily turned her back on those she was supposed to protect just because he and his cronies told her she was being wrongfully ‘confined’ rather than helping her face those angry about Lagos” Stark eloquently detailed, his tone harsh and matter of fact.

The panel said nothing.

Not even a whisper.

Though many shifted awkwardly, some of their expressions even darkening in fury.

“You’re all going about making a fuss over not being able to trust Reindeer Games because you say his allegiance fluctuates in regards to his own self-interest, and yet you’re all willing to give Maximoff a third chance to try and redeem herself if she chooses to sign the Accords when she’s demonstrated the exact same track record. There’s a word for that. Double-standard” Stark mockingly proclaimed, very obviously displeased when discussing the possibility of the Witch returning at all.

My my my. Who was this interesting deplorable young woman?

And how can I thank her for being a worse person than myself?

Because clearly that was Stark's point.

“You all came to the conclusion that the benefits of having Maximoff on the roster outweigh the pitfalls, especially now that there are methods to contain her and individuals like Dr. Strange and the Vision to monitor and restrain if necessary” Stark continued undaunted, seeing that the panel was already swaying to his perspective, “And the same can be argued for Prince Laufeyson. In fact, he would be a far greater asset than Maximoff”

“How so?” the Russian leader inquired curiously, eyes narrowed suspiciously as if to say, 'What am I getting out of this?'

“Unlike Maximoff, Loki actually has hundreds of years worth of training and practice with his magic. Control and experience Maximoff _does not have_. Meaning that incidents such as Lagos are far less likely to occur. In addition, Loki could act as a secondary...magic expert whenever Dr. Strange is unavailable. And that’s not even getting into what he knows about Thanos’ army. Who might I remind you is going to attack Earth at some point in the near future” Stark pointed out, his tone making it sound like the panel should have thought of the points already for themselves.

The three of us stood silently as we waited for the panel to finish debating (read: arguing) on what to do with me.

The panel had adjusted the speakers so that only other panel members could hear what they were saying.

As if turning the sound off on our end somehow made a difference.

It blew my mind how they didn't think any of us were capable of reading lips or their body language.

Or maybe they were going for suspense.

They were less entertaining than a silent film.

Though I am admittedly mildly anxious.

I go throughout life always being lesser. Never good enough. Never measuring up.

I pushed everyone away before they could hurt me, or hurt me more.

There were two people in this galaxy that loved me unconditionally.

One is dead, indirectly by my own hand.

The other I continually pushed away until the line was on the verge of snapping.

And it wasn't until I was facing down our deranged sister that I realized it.

Thor had always been there, so much so that I had never thought anything of it until he told me himself that he was readying himself to sever ties.

And I found that I hadn't wanted to.

So I stayed.

Now he and I had the chance to rule together.

To have peace.

A new start for Asgard on Midgard.

That was all well and good, but I did not believe the Midgardians would be so happy with my return.

And of course I was right.

And despite my low expectations, Stark unexpectedly roused...hope in me.

"We have come to a verdict" President Ellis proclaimed, looking only mildly displeased.

I turned my eyes to the insect, holding myself firm and strong as I stared him straight in the eyes as he relayed my fate, showing no weakness.

"From the testimonials we've been given it has been decided that Prince Laufeyson will be placed on probation. King Thor and Dr. Strange will be responsible for him as his parole officers. Prince Laufeyson will hereby be made a consultant of the Avengers in order to work off his debt to society, and we fully expect to see him monthly for reports on his behavior and...community service" President Ellis relayed monotonously.

I did not balk in surprise.

I was merely speechless as I was escorted out of the deliberation room by T'Challa in order to "meet" that second rate wizard once again.

I mentally debated testing the limits of my so called "probation" on Strange.

In my oh so humble opinion he was due for some _mild_ karmic retribution.

Out of the corner of my eye I watched as Thor bear hugged the Man of Iron.

The man merely laughed it off and pat my brother on the shoulder before strutting away, a little pep in his step, no doubt from outsmarting the single cell plebeians.

I always did appreciate a man with a sharp wit and razor tongue.

Though I fiercely stamped down on the...warm gratefulness that began to make its way into my mostly frozen heart.

But even so, I wouldn't waste this.

Not this time.

It was time for a new beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snakes also symbolize rebirth and renewal ;)
> 
> And here we have it ladies and gentleman, the infamous Court Case!
> 
> Oh, and I apologize to you all! I completely forgot to imply that T'Challa and Everett Ross were a couple in the epilogue of Sweet But Psycho! Nakia was just a surrogate for the two of them.


	2. Adaptability

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!
> 
> Happy New Year!
> 
> Enjoy!!

**(Loki’s POV)**

“As you can see from the mission reports Mr. Laufeyson’s knowledge and experience was invaluable against Amora the Enchantress” Vision reiterated, having already thoroughly detailed and defended my actions on the mission the other day.

The Vision, while partly organic and learning, was primarily a being of logic.

It is for that reason why I prefer him to Dr. Stooge.

The Vision was exceptionally good at running comparison scenarios in his computerized brain, which came in handy if my decisions and calls on a mission needed to be analyzed (read: scrutinized).

“Indeed. And as usual his portion of the damage toll was kept a minimum to none” President Ellis commented, managing to sound both unsurprised and disappointed at the same time.

I resisted the urge to scoff.

If they wanted to reprimand someone they should have brought in the Witch.

It had been amusing to watch her blow her top (quite literally) when she had caught sight of Amora attempting to seduce Stark and place him under her thrall.

It had been less amusing to watch as, in her jealous fury, she flung cars, and ripped traffic lights and a mailbox from the ground (amongst other expensive things) to use as futile projectiles.

And yet no matter how many reprimands she is given she never heeds the warnings.

If one is truly to survive they must learn to adapt to the situation or circumstance that they currently find themselves in.

Even if that means playing by another’s rules for the time being.

In other words actually acting like a hero and giving a shit about the civilian property she is destroying.

“In addition there have been no incidents since the assault a month ago-”

“I believe you mean Agent Barton’s assault on _me_ ” I immediately corrected sharply.

“My apologies” President Ellis rescinded, waving away his incorrect ‘technicality’.

I merely rolled my eyes.

‘Bear with it for now’ I reminded myself.

A phrase which had become my mantra the last several months.

“All in all the reports look good as usual Mr. Laufeyson. You are free to go about the rest of your day. We will see you next month” President Ellis dismissed.

“I look forward to it. These meetings are the highlight of my month” I deadpanned, immediately making my way out the double-doors, the Vision floating close on my heels.

“Still got them fooled I see” Agent Ross commented sardonically as I passed right by him.

“Still Wakanda’s _liaison_ I see” I teasingly barbed, motioning to the pin on his suit jacket, “Is it merely the King you service or all the leaders of the Tribe?”

Ross merely gave me a fiercely enraged glare, though his expression was still impressively neutral despite my insult.

Messing with the Agent and poking fun at his secret relationship with Wakandan King was the highlight of my time here.

“Considering you’re the muzzled puppy on a short leash I don’t think you’re in any place to be poking fun at other people’s predicaments” Ross bit back.

“Ooo sounds like I struck a nerve. Tell me, is all not well in El Dorado?” I questioned curiously.

“Mr. Laufeyson if you please, we need to be getting back to the Compound” Vision cut in.

“Such a bore” I commented to the android, turning to leave, “You never let me have any fun”

“Atta boy” I heard Agent Ross mock, giving me two clicks of his tongue.

Hmmm. I’ll have to think of a particularly good little...prank for him next month for that.

But now to return to the boring old Compound before going back to New Asgard.

Would nothing end the drollness of my boring routine?

* * *

Having already made my way to the Avengers' Lounge hoping to procure some kind of caffeinated substance I was genuinely surprised to spot Stark making his way into the room out of the corner of my eye.

Immediately I snapped my fingers, wrapping his form in the Cloaking spell I had placed on myself when Vision and I had first arrived.

I did not feel like dealing with my brother's antics before I had my afternoon caffeine to give me the energy I needed to embark in such a taxing endeavor.

And I wanted to be in Maximoff's presence even less.

And where Stark was, Maximoff was quick to follow.

Truly I pitied the man.

Beauty was a true curse to bear.

And Stark was quite beautiful.

Not to say that he had not aged well for a Midgardian. Quite the contrary.

In fact Stark was of the minority who only grew even more attractive in his later years.

However there was something to be said for the lack of stress lines. His wariness from his years as the Man of Iron no longer weighing him down making him look...freer.

And more attractive as well.

Even covered in grease and his hair dishevelled as it was now.

He likely came here straight from his lab (aka the Maximoff Free Sanctuary).

"Stark" I greeted, though my eyes remained trained on the infernal coffee making contraption in front of me.

For the life of me I couldn’t figure out how this latest model worked. So many different buttons and labels that I was sure were such gibberish that even the Allspeak couldn’t translate them properly.

Expresso? Mocha? Americano? Latte?

I just wanted coffee. Coffee.

There had to be regular or black labeled on one of these blasted buttons!

"If you break it I'm not fixing it" Stark exclaimed, sounding mildly amused at my plight.

"If you are going to lie at least make it believable" I retorted, mentally rolling my eyes.

"Fair. But who says that I'll be returning it when I do?" Stark countered back as he made his way closer to the kitchenette.

"I believe the rules state that coffee making devices are banned from the laboratories. Your vocal vehemence on the matter was quite entertaining" I countered right back, now facing him, a slightly amused mischievous glint in my eyes.

Stark was usually pretty unflappable. The exceptions were when it came to his coffee, the Spiderboy, and the Witch.

"You think that would stop me?" Stark questioned me, raising an eyebrow at me as he leaned against the counter, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing.

Ah. So _that_ was the button you were supposed to hit.

At least something productive came from this encounter.

"And yet here you are. Had you created a coffee device for your own personal use you would not have left the sanctity of your hideaway and undertake the risk of running into the Witch by coming here" I countered back smoothly, though a scowl made its way onto my face at the thought of Maximoff coming here.

"Not a Scarlet Witch fan I take it?" Stark inquired, sounding mildly surprised.

"She irks me on a fundamental level" I proclaimed, a small growl making its way up my throat, causing a look of surprise to form on Stark’s face.

Stark's description of her at the initial court hearing and who the Witch turned out to be was very...disappointing.

Frankly it was appalling how the UN still allowed her to continue as a hero with how many times she's violated her parole.

All the while jumping at any mistake I make like sharks sensing blood in the water.

"Welcome to the club" Stark muttered bitterly, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Club?" I inquired curiously, though I was confused as to exactly what he was speaking of.

"We're an anti-Scarlet Witch faction. Small in numbers but we make up for it with intelligence and common sense" Stark stated with a sarcastic cheer.

"Traits such as those are hard to find these days" I replied, a genuinely amused, a small smirk forming on my lips.

At least I knew Stark had some common sense in that regard.

"Speaking of hard to find. It's about time I make myself scarce. So step aside from the liquid gold Reindeer Games" Stark exclaimed, looking rather panicked.

And I had one guess as to why.

"No need to be in such a hurry. The Witch cannot sense you here" I slowly informed him, in of how he would take learning that I had spelled him without his explicit consent.

"What?" Stark stated uncomprehendingly, immediately giving me his full attention.

Well...That was better than a straight up attack...Or immediate alert to the UN.

"I near perpetually have my presence cloaked from others. When you entered the room I cloaked you as well" I elaborated.

"Why?" Stark demanded, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at me.

"I'm not a fan of repeating myself" I drolled.

Why are Midgardians so fond of having someone repeat the same things to them over and over again when the answer does not change?

"I don't suppose you'd be willing to teach me the science and mechanics behind your little trick?" Stark asked, sounding almost hopeful.

Truly he had to be jesting.

"You already have one" I pointedly reminded him.

"If I had a method to block her do you think I would be scoping out every location before leaving my lab?" Stark retorted, as if it were obvious.

My eyebrows very nearly hit my hairline.

He _wasn't_ jesting.

"The light in your chest" I deadpanned, pointing to where it used to rest, "It gave off an energy similar to that of an Infinity Stone and blocked my attempt to use the Mind Stone to control you"

The technology had been incredibly impressive.

Especially for a Midgardian.

Why he wouldn't wear such a powerful device every waking moment to protect him was beyond me, though Midgardians weren't nearly as paranoid as they should be.

"I HAD A VIABLE WAY TO BLOCK HER THIS ENTIRE FUCKING TIME???!!!"

His screech startled me out of my thoughts.

I wasn't sure whether to be amused or saddened by the so called genius' stupidity.

"Well...Thanks" Stark muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose in obvious frustration, "I guess now I owe you one"

I hummed thoughtfully for a moment, debating on whether to cash in said favor now, or hold onto it for later.

For whatever reason though a single thought popped into my mind.

"I never did get that drink" I stated, giving Stark a smirk, knowing it would throw him off.

"Beer?" Stark inquired after collecting himself, making his way over to the bar.

"Tequila Sunrise" I corrected, following after him, scowling at the idea of drinking my brother's preferred beverage.

Stark snorted as he expertly mixed the ingredients together, "Should've guessed your tastes were completely opposite of your brother's"

"Unlike that buffoon I actually have royal class" I deadpanned, taking a sip of my drink, allowing myself to let out a noisy of pleasure.

"My regards to the tender" I praised, raising my glass slightly to him in respect.

The drink was quite good.

"Any time Reindeer Games" Stark replied, "And not that this hasn't been fun but I actually do need to get ready for tonight"

I resisted the urge to grimace at such a horrendous thought.

Tonight was "Team Bonding Night" as Thor called them.

Mandatory meet-ups where all the Avengers were forced to interact and _bond_ with one another civilly.

Just the thought of such a thing sent chills up my spine.

Consultants fortunately were not required to attend.

Thank Frigga.

Or else I would have murdered all the so called "former" Rogue Avengers already and been sent to prison.

In my opinion, anyone who offs the annoying vermin deserves a medal not jail time.

"You should come tonight" Stark stated out of nowhere.

"Pass" I deadpanned, "You're 'bonding' rituals hold no interest to me"

At all.

I'd rather attend another UN meeting on my "behavior".

Or yank my own teeth out.

"Believe me I've contemplated self-injury many times to try and get out of it, but I'd rather not have Maximoff attempting to play nursemaid" Stark declared, actually full-body shuddering.

My eyebrow rose in curious...concern.

Were things with Maximoff truly that bad?

I knew from Thor that the Witch was doggedly pursuing Stark's affections (translation: obsessively stalking), and that Stark was playing hard to get due to their past histories (translation: rejecting her because she harmed him repeatedly in the past).

But Thor had always made the situation sound comical. Not the serious matter I gleaned from speaking with Stark now.

"You're inviting the God of Mischief to a get-together between comrades?" I inquired cautiously, very skeptical of the offer.

"I think we could all use a change of pace. Besides, our 'bonding sessions' usually end with some kind of conflict anyway. With you there things may actually be entertaining" Stark stated dismissively, grabbing his freshly brewed coffee and taking a sip, letting out an audible humm of pleasure.

"Think about it" Stark stated again before turning to saunter out of the room.

Join the Avengers' Team Bond Night…..

Well...I did ask for a break in my droll routine.

But was I truly that bored?

…….Sadly yes.

* * *

'This is horrible idea' I told myself for the upteenth time.

And yet again the reminder still did not deter my stride, the entrance to the Lounge in sight.

"I'm gay!!" I heard Stark scream, the desperate panic in his declaration causing me to pause mid-step.

"I sacrificed my anal virginity to Loki, and it was such a profound, transcendent experience no woman could ever truly satisfy me after that!!"

"......................................................................"

What. In. Odin's. Beard.

I've been called many things in my lifetime….

 _Sex_ God had never been one of them.

Though it was _definitely_ my favorite.

Schooling the smug grin on my face I strut into the Lounge with a confidence that radiated 'better-than-thou'.

Taking a quick scan of the room I saw an incredibly pissed off Colonel Rhodes, Team Traitors hovering unhelpfully, that Maximoff was near stuck to Stark's side, and that Stark himself was precariously balanced on the arm of the couch as he attempted to calm himself from what looked like the start of a panic attack.

It would appear my hypothesis on the true nature of the matter between the Witch and Stark had been correct.

"Hm. And here I was hoping for some entertainment. But alas, I find only the boring type of chaos. No blood or knives, just harassment and single brain cells" I snipped, my tone casual despite my insult.

Naturally my words broke everyone out of their stunned stupor.

"You expect me to actually believe that you'd sleep with _him_ over _me_ " Maximoff scoffed, rolling her eyes as if the very idea was ludicrous, "If you're going to lie about being in a relationship at least make it believable. He's not even your type"

Watching Stark bristle up in incredible offense at the Witch's claim was entertaining to say the least.

Maximoff's retort was an interesting observation on Stark's preferences and proclivities as well, though from Stark's annoyed glare at the Widow I'd place my bets that the analysis came from her rather than Maximoff actually taking the time to use her single brain cell to figure that out for herself.

And though I hated to agree with the Witch in any fashion, she was correct in that if Stark was going to lie about a false relationship with anyone, let alone someone as fabulous as myself, he should at least make the lie feasible.

However a single phrase turned the entire situation on its head.

_"But not my type of man"_

_"Not my type of man"_

_"Type of man"_

_" **Man** "_

"Tony isn't gay" the Widow cut it, "But he is bisexual"

WHAT???????!!!!!!!!!!! 

"It's not like my past sexual exploits aren't all over the internet for you to see. I don't know why you're all so surprised" Stark deadpanned, crossing his arms over his chest in exasperation.

"We don't know what's actually true or not. Most of it's trash and slander!" the Captain retorted defensively.

A point I very much agreed with.

Stark liked men.

What an _interesting_ turn of events.

"I think you're all missing the most important thing here" _Ex_ -Agent Barton cut in, a hard note to his tone.

"I can't wait to hear this" I heard Colonel Rhodes muttered sarcastically.

"So Loki, how would you describe your and Stark's relationship?" Barton asked, directing a vicious glare at myself.

Clearly he was still sore over my allowance to be _here_ and not in prison.

Well, pot, kettle.

But more importantly, he was correct.

How was I to describe my "relationship" with Stark?

"It varies from moment to moment" I finally replied, my tone dismissive, though taking a look out of the corner of my eye I saw how fearfully pale Stark was.

I could use a little fun.

A downright mischievously salacious smirk made its way onto lips, my skin vibrating in anticipation knowing the chaos I was about to incite, "Though from what I hear, you've all been harassing my lover"

"LOVER??!!"

"WHAT?!"

“You and Loki?!”

"A most joyous occasion!!"

"......"

"Thor" Stark addressed in comical disbelief, "Have you been sitting at the bar this entire time eating popcorn and watching us like some cheesy American Soap Opera?"

"Your pettiness is amusing to watch" Thor casually exclaimed, taking a sip of his beer.

I rolled my eyes at his antics.

I knew it was a mistake to let Darcy introduce my brother to daytime television.

And people call me the drama queen.

"But Brother, how could you not tell me that you were courting Stark?" Thor inquired, sounding very much like a wounded puppy.

One I was happy to stab.

"It was a spur of the moment whim" I deadpanned, "Neither romantic nor any of your business"

No doubt I would be dealing with his incessant questioning later.

"LIES!" the Witch vehemently denied, her furious screeches echoing through the room as she jabbed a finger in my direction, "There is no way you would choose to be with someone like _him_ over _me_!"

"Dear me" I drolled, "My poor already beaten down self-esteem and self-consciousness"

And immediately my words had the effects I planned, my Brother immediately coming to my defense.

Of course the Witch's arrogance didn't register my brother's threatening form.

"He's a mind controlling murderer who changes sides based on his own self interest!" Maximoff boldly slandered, moving off of the couch to face down my brother foolishly.

"Are we certain we are not discussing yourself?" I countered shamelessly right back, raising an amused eyebrow at the escalating tensions and the sheer level of blind hypocrisy spouting out of the Witch's mouth.

Naturally the brat wheeled on me, her eyes and hands now gleaming blood red.

I scoffed, wholly unimpressed.

"Getting a swelled head now are we?" I mocked, allowing my own magic to flow around me as I met her challenging gaze head on undeterred.

If the Witch actually thought she could defeat me in battle then she was in for a harsh lesson.

One I was more than willing to provide.

"That's enough" Colonel Rhodes cut in, his voice sounding commanding and final, though all it did was steady our stalemate.

"Indeed. Should a physical confrontation occur the both of you would be remanded into custody and face immediate disciplinary consequences for your actions. An outcome which I believe we'd all like to avoid" the Vision advised, concern making its way into his robotic logic.

I resisted the urge to point out that the Rogues had all braced themselves _to_ fight.

Barton had already pulled out a gun he had stashed away in his boot.

The Widow had one of her hands hidden from view, no doubt containing a gun or blade of her own.

And Rogers and Wilson had shifted into a very clear battle stance.

I welcomed the challenge.

The Rogues vs Stark, Rhodes, Vision, Thor and of course myself.

They stood no chance.

Of course Colonel Rhodes had to ruin all the fun though.

“But seriously though Tones. Loki? He threw you out a window” Colonel Rhodes inquiringly demanded, sounding incredibly displeased.

“And the Witch messed with his mind and crushed him underneath countless vehicles. Your point?” I snipped right back, incredibly unimpressed by the bias and double standard, "And if that's truly the scale you are going by than I'd like to point out that I've harmed him far less than the Witch has"

"You're actually fucking Loki?!" Barton demanded, his skin growing a lovely mix of white and green.

"Who says he's the one fucking me?" I teased, unable to help myself as I gave Barton a shark-like pleased grin at the insinuation.

Of course the Witch irresponsibly took her displeasure out on the rest of us.

Sensing her magic building up and the explosion imminent I quickly encased myself and my "lover" in a protective shield, my magical energy deflecting hers in a twisted version of a Christmas lights spectacle.

Despite the unamusing temper tantrum it was amusing to watch the Rogues be knocked over like bowling pins.

"Wanda easy" Captain Unaccountable babied after he had picked himself up off the floor, "I know you're upset but you need to control your powers"

This time I couldn't keep myself from audibly scoffing at such ridiculousness.

Yes, the Witch intentionally lashes out and harms all of you just because she is upset, but no, instead of telling her she cannot do that and place others at risk treat _her_ as the victim.

"If you are quite finished with your little temper tantrum my lover and I will be going. We have much to discuss now that our relationship has been made public" I announced, giving Stark a pointed do-not-argue-with-me look.

I was giving him an out.

If he was smart he would take it.

"Love the way you think darling" Stark exclaimed, immediately sliding off of the arm of the couch and fast walking his way over to me.

"Shall we?" I inquired, giving Stark my elbow, hoping he would know enough to play along with his own ruse.

"We shall my prince" Tony exclaimed after a moment's surprise, looping his arm around mine as I escorted him out of the room.

"You do realize that makes you my princess?" I couldn't help but tease as we strut our way out of the lounge.

An illogical part of my brain very much enjoyed the idea of Stark dressed in Royal Asgardian garments.

"I was thinking more along the lines of prince consort" Stark countered back, waving his hand fancifully through the air in front of him at the imaginary title.

Fortunately there was no one around to see me roll my eyes.

Once Stark had locked us in his Maximoff Free Sanctuary he unwound his arm from mine, letting out an immense breath of relief.

I ignored the annoying tingle in my arm where the comforting body heat had vanished.

"Cheese and crackers that escalated fast" Stark muttered, running his hands nervously, awkwardly, through his hair and across his face, "Thanks for going along with the lie. I guess I owe you again"

So he did.

Admittedly throughout the entire affair I'd had more fun than I've had in about a half a year….

…….And I didn't want it to end.

Stark's lover….

I could work with that.

Play the role.

The slight blush on Stark's face when my face morphed into a devilishly devious grin was delicious as I reached my hand out for his.

"Why lie?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snakes are able to adapt to their changing surroundings in order to survive ;)
> 
> Next chapter are all scenes from the original work that were mentioned but not seen ;)


	3. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All!
> 
> Sorry I'm posting this a bit later than I'd wanted too but I hope you all like the inside look at some of the things mentioned in SBP!
> 
> Enjoy!

**(Loki's POV)**

8:58 AM.

As per our new arrangement I was waiting outside Stark’s Compound room door so that the two of us would appear together at breakfast.

According to Friday, the Rogues typically eat breakfast in the Lounge together. As such it was the perfect time to “display” our relationship.

I couldn't help the small thrill that thrummed through my body in anticipation.

At the chaos our entrance together would bring.

It's been far too long since I've had any real fun.

9:01 AM.

Stark was late.

'Why bother arranging a time if he clearly was not going to follow the schedule?' I scowled, leaning back against the opposite wall with my arms crossed over my chest.

9:10 AM.

My patience having run out, I sat up to knock on his door, only for it to swing open with a heavily disheveled Stark near stumbling out in his haste.

"Crap. I was hoping you'd be late" Stark muttered, scratching his face in embarrassment, his hair in complete disarray.

"If I cannot trust that you'll honor our deal-"

"No no. Completely one hundred and ten percent on board here. I just got caught up in the lab later than I planned last night and overslept" Stark babbled, trying to straighten his plaid shirt.

 _"You mean this morning. Boss left the lab three hours ago" Friday corrected unrepentantly,_ causing me to raise a curious eyebrow at what Stark could've possibly been doing in the lab for so long.

"Nobody likes a narc Fri" Stark teasingly huffed.

_"Not the ones doing wrong anyway" Friday retorted back._

"Why are all my AIs so sassy?" Stark sarcastically proclaimed, running his hands through his admittedly adorable bedhead in an attempt to make it more presentable.

"And what purpose was more important than sleep if I may?" I couldn't help but ask as I held my arm out for him to hold.

We are not teenagers.

I refuse to do something as juvenile as hand-holding.

Stark easily slid his arm into mine, "I was working on a new arc reactor. I'm trying to figure out how to project the reactor's energy around me 24/7 without the energy itself being visible".

"Like a shield" I stated in understanding as we made our way through the Compound.

Stark nodded, "One that blocks mental attacks. The problem though is that just having the energy output around me isn't enough. I think the reactor actually _absorbed_ the energy from the Mind Stone and rendered the attack useless".

"How so? The Mind Stone is one of the most powerful weapons in the universe. The energy output of your reactor would have to equal it in power for that to be possible" I informed him, wholly skeptical, but curious on how he hypothesized such a theory.

"And if it is?" Stark teased, his eyes gleaming with a knowledge unknown to myself.

Knowledge is power.

I loathed not knowing things.

And Stark seemed to have determined that too.

"I'm sure you already know about Project Pegasus" Stark assumed.

"I've heard of how Marvel came to be yes" I confirmed.

After learning that Captain Marvel, formerly known as the Star Force member Vers, was originally from Midgard, I made sure to thoroughly investigate her origins. Including whatever information was…(mostly) legally available to me on Project Pegasus.

"My Father was the one who founded it. And he theorized a new element based on the Tesseract. A raw and unstable variation of which was used in the very engine that Carol blew up" Stark revealed, his expression far more serious and withdrawn.

I blinked in surprise, my step faltering slightly in my shock before I quickly righted myself in order to maintain a modicum of decorum.

"The reactor's energy is based off the Space Stone" I proclaimed, turning my head to narrow my eyes down at him.

"Bingo" Stark confirmed, the side of his mouth quirking up in the barest hint of smug pride.

"And if the reactor has a similar energy signature-"

"Absorbing the Mind Stone's energy wouldn't be a problem" Stark finished, his eyes far off, as if he were running numbers in his head.

But numbers were the least of my concerns.

The Space Stone.

The energy that powered the suits was based off of the _Space Stone_.

He had a power source based off of an _Infinity Stone._

The weapons and technology that can be created….

Suddenly SHIELD's plans to reinvent Project Pegasus made sense.

"Dear old Dad was onto more than he realized back then" Stark muttered almost to himself, a note of awe in his voice overpowered by an impressive amount of bitterness.

It would appear "Daddy" issues were a standard problem across worlds.

And though I wanted to ask, I refrained.

If I would not speak about Odin, then I would not ask another to speak of their troubles as well.

"I'm making some additional plans to start upgrading everyone's weapons and gear with starkanium so that we all have a better chance against the Alien Overlord" Stark stated, though his eyes were now glowing blue and more than half of his attention now appeared to be divided elsewhere.

His powers truly were fascinating.

I'll have to prod at Stark for some answers on just how his powers worked one of these days.

Manipulation of technological energy and matter. 

Quite an interesting field of sorcery.

And I couldn't wait to call it just that in Starks presence.

The man loathed the term magic with every fiber of his being.

But for now…

"As much as the blue gives you an ethereal quality, we are about to arrive at the Lounge and your attention should be entirely focused on the matter at hand" I gently reprimanded him, redirecting his focus.

"Not even in a real relationship and you're already dictating my life. I'm starting to think I do have a type" Stark stated sarcastically, his eyes fading back to their natural honey brown.

I rolled my eyes at his dramatics, "Just be convincing".

The two of us strut our way confidently into the Lounge, arm in arm as we both quickly scanned the room.

As predicted all the Rogues (minus Lang who apparently developed a few brain cells and was only a part-time Avenger) were gathered around the kitchenette.

The Captain and Archer were sitting on the stools, sandwiching the pleasantly distraught Witch between them, looking much like they were trying to comfort her.

The Widow and and Wilson were assisting the Vision in putting the finishing touches on breakfast.

The moment we made our way into the Lounge all heads swiveled in our direction.

Their petty little glares were amusing.

Like a Chihuahua growling at a Doberman.

Neither of us hesitated in our stride over to the group (or more accurately the coffee machine).

Making a snap decision I unexpectedly changed course, pulling Stark with me over to the stools on the other side of the kitchenette island (the side where the Rogues weren't of course), ignoring his offended squeak of "My coffee!" as I sat us down on the stools.

"Relax Princess" I stated rolling my eyes at his wounded puppy expression as I used my magic to telekinetically lift the "I'm the Best" coffee mug Friday had filled for her Master, levitating it into Stark's grabby hands, ignoring the Witch's glares.

"All is now right with the world" Stark happily proclaimed, inhaling the aroma of the beverage before humming in pleasure at his first sip.

"And people say I'm the drama queen" I exclaimed, deciding to rest my hand gently on Stark's knee, gently massaging the clothed skin.

If Stark was surprised by my sudden initiative his face didn't show it.

Good.

I had to admit that I delighted in the Witch's furious red eyed jealousy at my caressing as I silently rubbed it in her face that _I_ could touch him and _she_ could not.

"Diva is more scientifically accurate" Stark corrected, giving me a rather impressively sultry smirk around his coffee mug, his eyes twinkling in mirth.

"What can I say? I'm a difficult person to please" I flirted back, leaning forward slightly so that our bodies were merely three inches apart.

"For some" Stark playfully bantered back, his eyes gleaming with promises and ventures I found myself longing to explore.

Blast that accursed no sex rule!

I snapped my fingers, conjuring a plate of gluten free blueberry waffles and bacon in front of Stark, and a western omelette with a side of fruit for myself.

"You'll need your strength if that is to continue being the case" I flirtatiously teased, popping a grape in my mouth.

"Alright ENOUGH!" Barton exclaimed, pounding his fists on the table, his stool clattering to the ground at his abrupt stand.

At the same time Wilson pointedly demanded, "Did you just steal someone's food?"

"I see your priorities are in order" I mocked, giving Wilson an unimpressed glance, "And for the record I have an understanding with a diner"

"You're threatening restaurant owners to look the other way while you steal their food?" the Captain demanded, giving Stark a glance that essentially boiled down to 'See?'.

I could feel my hackles rising at the Captain's silent attempt to make Stark "see" the rotten nature of the person he was in a relationship with.

"An understanding that on certain days of the week at a specific time they are to make a breakfast platter and deduct the cost from my Avengers Consultant bank account while I conjure the meal to my person" I corrected, my tone misleadingly bored, hiding my growing irritation.

I didn't understand why the Rogue's assumptions on my character were bothering me.

I never cared to justify myself in the face of their slander before.

"Mr. Laufeyson is correct. He has similar arrangements with other businesses including Starbucks. Arrangements which myself, Strange, and the UN are aware of" the Vision defended, "Dr. Strange and I monitor his use of magic and by extension his conjuring, so we are certain he isn't stealing"

I hated those blasted enchantments.

Removing them was more than within my capabilities. But if I did it would be an immediate violation of my parole.

And it was either that or the collar.

And I'd rather discover ways to still achieve what I want while working around the the magical restraints.

"You know what they say about assuming Rogers. Would've thought you'd have learned your lesson after me" Stark barbed, his retort sharp and his eyes hard as he gave the Captain an unimpressed glare.

"Aw. Look at you defending your bae" Natasha commented far too sweetly, her eyebrow raised in curiosity.

If she wanted answers she should try being a little more subtle.

"Damn right" Stark proclaimed, meeting her calculating stare head on, "That a problem?"

Barton snorted, an ugly unattractive sound.

"Yeah. Why the hell you two are even bothering to continue with Stark's obvious lie is beyond me" Barton bluntly proclaimed, his arms crossed over his chest.

"You believe our relationship is false?" I questioned him in exaggerated surprise, my hand over my heart in mock offense.

"Stark just used you so that he could escape confronting his problems" Barton deadpanned.

"Glad we can finally agree that the Witch is one. I hear admittance is the first step" I mocked, my tone sharp, though a smirk made its way onto my lips at Stark's muffled laugh.

"I am not the problem here!" the Witch exclaimed, finally lucid enough in her anger to voice her unwanted thoughts like any other displeased human being.

"Just drop the farce already and go back to the hole you slithered out of" Barton sneered, his eyes like knives.

For a moment my fingers clenched around the table, my teeth grinding as I envisioned grabbing the Archer by his throat and tossing _him_ out the window this time.

But then another thought came to my mind.

A _far_ more gratifying thought.

I felt my lips upturn into a downright vicious grin, watching in satisfaction as the Rogues immediately tensed.

"You want me to crawl back into my hole?" I asked him, my eyes gleaming with mischief and anticipation.

Without waiting for his response I turned back around in my seat so that I was facing Stark.

Without warning I lifted Stark by his thighs onto my lap, swiftly wrapping my arms around his shoulderblades and neck, pushing his mouth onto mine, devouring him whole, relishing in every nip, tug, and fight for dominance.

I ignored the banshee like screech of denial and fury and the unmistakable sound of shattering China in favor of exploring and memorizing the grooves of Stark's mouth and what caused the small hitches in his breath.

Perhaps I should take Barton's advice more often.

* * *

Instinctively I caught the handball before it collided with my skull.

"Must you keep doing that?" I demanded in exasperation, my stride not deterred in the least.

If anything I started walking faster.

"Must you keep up with this game of Cat and Mouse?" Thor retorted smoothly, coming up beside me.

"You never were good at taking hints" I stated in irritation.

"I was always good at ignoring them you mean" he corrected, undeterred.

"Like a wrecking ball ignoring the line of walls in its way" I deadpanned.

"Well maybe if you would stop avoiding me those walls would still be intact" Thor retorted.

"Still using your head I see" I said, rolling my eyes.

"Only on that last wall" Thor jested.

"And you wonder why I still call you a brainless brute" I retorted unimpressed.

"And what does Stark call you?" Thor teased, a playful grin coming to his face.

"Clearly you've spent too much time around me. I've tainted whatever few undamaged brain cells you do possess" I stated sarcastically.

"Was it the UN hearing when we first arrived?" Thor doggedly inquired, ignoring my barbs with practiced ease.

"What?!" I demanded reeling around to face him for the first time since he cornered me, my heart racing slightly.

"Did hearing Stark defend your honor with his sharp wit get your blood boiling?" Thor teased, though there was genuine curiosity in his eyes.

Feeling the blood flowing to my cheeks for whatever unidentifiable reason I quickly masked my face with an illusion.

"Its starting to boil right now" I grit out angrily, giving him a heated glare.

"I'm not into incest" Thor cheekily proclaimed before zig zagging away to dodge my energy blasts.

"Does your brotherly bonding always end in violence?" Brunnhilde inquired, her tone incredibly uninterested as she took a swing of her beer.

"Yes" I instinctively replied, chucking another fireball at my brother.

"To what do I owe the honor?" I inquired mockingly, annoyed that yet another was interfering with what should have been a simple walk to the lab to visit Stark.

"You're under the wrong assumption that I'm here to see you. We merely share a common destination" she rebuked, taking another swig as she turned to begin moving back down the halls, me joining her.

"Bruce I assume then" I inferred.

"He and Hulk want to introduce me to Betty today. We're going out to some restaurant called the Shawarma Palace" she explained, downing another swig.

I swear she had that bottle enchanted to be bottomless.

…..Not a bad concept actually.

That’s an idea to be filed away for a later time.

"You all have officially lost the rest of your marbles!"

The furious exclamation caused both Brunnhilde and I to pause in surprise.

"Do you even hear yourselves right now?! If you think I'm letting her anywhere _near_ my head again then you're the ones who need to have _your_ heads checked!"

That was Stark.

An enraged Stark.

A panicked Stark.

Near his head? _Again_?

Then it hit me as if the Hulk had re-smashed my imprint into the floor.

Maximoff.

Immediately I broke out into a sprint, Brunnhilde matching my frantic pace step for step.

"I don't know if it's guts, stupidity, or history repeating itself, but you're all _really_ starting to piss me and Hulk off. And he still has a score to settle with the Witch"

And with that my concerns had been founded.

After my trial Bruce told myself, and Brunnhilde that Maximoff had been the one to play with his and the Hulk's minds, causing them to attack a town of innocent people.

Brunnhilde had not been amused.

The reason she was only a reserve member of the Avengers in time of emergency was because she refused to be on a team that had the Witch on it out of loyalty to "her boys".

Thor and Bruce had to physically prevent her many a times from giving the Witch a lesson of her own.

And now there was no Thor here now to stop either of us.

And from what it sounded like, the Beast was just as pissed off.

Skidding around the corner we saw Stark and Bruce surrounded by the Rogues. The two of them trapped back to back in the middle of a circle of sharks.

Though from the glowing blue and green of Stark and Bruce's eyes I wondered who truly were the ones in the most danger here.

"You don't find it odd that someone like yourself who's paranoid against being mind controlled doesn't want to double check to be sure the person that you’re dating, a person who has a history of mind controlling others, isn't messing with your head?" the Captain sternly tried to reason.

"The hypocrisy is strong with this one" Stark grit out, his eyes glowing even brighter.

"Does anyone feel like filling us in or should we all just cut to the chase?" I growled, summoning my magic around my form.

"Agreed" Barton cut in, his accusing glare at me impressively icy, "Wanda now!"

The Witch's hands launched their red poison at Stark while everyone had their attention trained on myself and Brunnhilde.

Fortunately my reflexes were sharp enough that I was able to wrap Stark and Bruce in a protective shield before the Witch's magic could seep into either of their bodies.

Both Stark and Bruce gingerly looked over the arms they had used as ineffective shields when they flinched at the Witch's attack, bracing themselves.

The genuine fear and relief in their panicked expressions as their lungs heaved for breath snapped the final cord holding my composure together.

My magic whirled around me, the sound of repulsor engines and Brunnhilde snapping out Dragonfang echoing through the halls.

"HULK SMASH!!!"

* * *

"We were trying to free him from Loki's grasp!"

The deliberation room doors closed with a resounding slam, cutting off the conversation inside from prying ears.

The Council had been called in for an emergency meeting regarding the "incident".

I resisted the urge to scoff.

Though Bruce was a bit disheveled, it was the Rogues who ended up worse for wear.

Rogers' bruises from Brunnhilde were healing fairly quickly (unfortunately), however Barton on the other hand hadn't gotten so lucky.

With the vengeance true of a Valkyrie, Brunnhilde had broken the wrist on Barton's dominant hand and punched out his vocal cords for being the one to give the Witch the command in the first place.

When the Witch attempted to fire a pathetic blast at Hulk I telekinetically launched Wilson in her path, the blow knocking him through one of the many hall windows.

Luckily for him we had been on the first floor so damage to his person was rather boringly minimal.

Stark had called his Hulkbuster armor to him and knocked Hulk's form off just enough so that the Beast's punch just missed Maximoff. Though the blow did destroy the floor directly in front of her, the resulting shockwave knocking her back and into the wall, the force knocking her unconscious.

She had gotten off _far_ too easily with just a concussion and some bruises in my opinion.

The Widow was the only one smart enough not to involve herself in the fight at all, though she was still just as penalized as the rest.

But yes, "Incident"

If that's what the Council wanted to call blatant assault then maybe it was time to start my back up plan. They were obviously more corrupt and biased then I had speculated.

And I refused to be imprisoned again.

"I'd think you'd be more smug that Vision and I couldn't find any evidence of Rogers and Barton's claims" Strange probbed, his tone sarcastic and unfriendly.

"Try to contain your disappointment" I sarcastically drolled, narrowing my eyes at him.

"You're an unpredictable potential threat to the Earth" Strange exclaimed, his eyes narrowing as he stepped closer into my space threateningly, "One misstep. _One._ And I'll make sure you're falling through the dimensions for the rest of your existence"

_Memories of darkness momentarily shrouded my vision. A black hole of nothingness as I fell through the abyss of space. A heavy mocking tenor that delved into another realm of fear._

"Tell me, are you always this pleasant with all former magical criminals or am I just special?" I snarked, controlling my voice so the tremor didn't show.

"Well Maximoff does seem like she's trying to get her name above yours on my list. She's quickly starting to become a larger thorn in my side than you, which is impressive in an of itself" Strange admitted, a wonderful scowl etched on his face.

"She isn't already? I must say I don't know whether to be honored or offended" I deadpanned.

"Personally I don't care either way. Just know that I will be keeping a closer eye on you now that I know you're targeting Stark for whatever plot you're cooking up" Strange warned, turning to head over to where Wong was scanning a haggard-looking Stark (again) for any mental damage or indications of recent mental invasion, the Cloak of Levitation flowing dramatically behind him with Levi (as Stark called him) giving me an I'm-watching-you gesture.

I scoffed at his haughty irritation, acting as if we were all inconveniencing _him._

I doubted he had been doing anything more important than dusting the ancient artifacts or reading the texts with Wong at the library.

According to his own ego the Masters of the Mystic Arts were supposed to guard the Earth from all mystic threats.

Getting off his tuchus and finally monitoring the Witch seems like the least he could do.

"Irony's a bitch isn't it?" a familiar voice stated.

I turned around to see a smug looking Agent Ross behind me, his eyes mocking me with a silent laughter.

"Do tell what it is about this situation you find amusing" I questioned curiously, my frustration at the situation bleeding through my tone, only causing his grin to widen.

"A royal consorting with a commoner. How's the shoe feel on the other foot?" Agent Ross teased, sounding incredibly pleased with himself.

"I'm insulted for my Lover that you've downgraded him to your level. Granted you are a respected soldier which elevates your status somewhat, however _my_ consort on the other hand descends from old nobility, and the sheer power and influence he possesses as the owner of the largest technological conglomerate in the world places him in the same category as the ruling class" I defended, happy to correct his assumption, if only so I could see his 'drop-dead' glare.

Aaannd there it was.

Ah the small joys in life. 

"Do you spend all day coming up with ways to piss me off?" Agent Ross inquired, sounding rather cross.

"Occasionally" I admitted unashamed.

"And people wonder why I believe I'd be better to just lock you all away and throw away the key" Agent Ross deadpanned.

"Speaking of which, I'm assuming you're here because the verdict has been finalized?" I inquired curiously, silently hoping the Rogues would be tossed into Raft, even temporarily.

Ross nodded none to happily.

And that is why I do not hope for things.

"Barton is being assigned a personal therapist, Maximoff is going to be collared until Strange deems that she fully understands the parameters and ramifications of her mind manipulation, and all of them are being made to attend Ethics, Protocol, and Appropriate Measures classes" Agent Ross relayed unhappily, his tone making it abundantly clear that he didn't agree with the ruling.

"Seems as though your government is as fair as mine was" I scowled, my tone bitter and sharp.

"That we can both agree on. I don't understand the Council's belief that Rogers and his crew are a necessary evil. Loose canons are only trouble in the end" Agent Ross muttered irately.

There was a reason he was my favorite government dog.

Which only made his relationship to T'Challa all that much more interesting considering the King's apparent friendship with Rogers.

"And Rogers escapes accountability once again" I observed, in annoyance.

"I wouldn't say that" Ross exclaimed, his eyes displaying a bit of mirth, the corner of his mouth quirking up in barely restrained smug amusement.

"Do tell" I coaxed, suddenly very curious at what he knew that I didn't.

"A call came in for Rogers on my tablet-"

"Your _personal_ tablet?" I couldn't help but cut him off to tease in order to lighten the stifling atmosphere.

"Barnes is currently reaming him out for his little stunt" Ross finished, pointedly ignoring me.

Now _that_ was something I wished I could see.

From what I've heard the Captain's Lover (though he vehemently denies such) was brainwashed and tortured for the better part of seventy years.

I cannot imagine him taking the Captain's actions very well.

At least one of the Captain's companions had a measure of a moral compass.

"Regardless, I'll let you head back" Ross commented offhandedly, waving me off so I could leave.

"Back?" I stated confused.

"Strange and Wong finished up with Stark" Ross stated, sounding as if it should have been obvious, jutting his chin out at where Stark no longer was, "After everything Maximoff put him through in the past and everything that went down during the 'Civil War' I think he could use his...boyfriend right now"

I couldn't help but raise my eyebrow at the audacity of his suggestion….Though his words _did_ strike a cord of _mild_ concern in me.

I _suppose_ it would be best to check up on Stark.

For appearance's sake of course….

Sigh….Socializing was exhausting.

* * *

As Friday had stated, Stark was in his lab, obsessing over holographic displays and designs, flipping through them at a furious, single-minded pace, not having registered my entrance at all.

"What is it that you are working on so intently?" I inquired, startling him out of his mind.

Stark wheeled around in surprise, having been caught off guard.

"Friday why didn't you tell me Reindeer Games was here?" Stark demanded.

_"I did Boss. You weren't paying attention. Hence why Protocol: Oblivious Moron is in effect" Friday corrected._

"You need to stop letting Honeybear change the name of my protocols Fri...Peter too!" Stark exclaimed, goofily irritable.

_"I happen to think Protocol: Help I've Fallen And I Can't Get Up is fairly accurate" Friday retorted wryly._

"All my kids are conspiring against me I swear" Stark muttered, sounding both proud and exasperated, turning back to his work.

"And yet my question remains unanswered" I proclaimed, moving closer to where Stark was seated.

"I'm working on the arc reactor. I need to get it up and running as soon as possible" Stark proclaimed, making a few adjustments to the calculations, "Run this one Fri"

A holographic image of Stark with one of his suit's batteries on his chest was projected into the air, an angry cartoon version of the Witch, pointy hat and all, coming onto the screen.

"Love me!" the Cartoon Witch ordered, the holographic image attacking holographic Stark.

As what I could assume was the arc reactor activating, I waited to see if the Witch's power would be repelled, only for holographic Stark to be consumed by red.

 _"Simulation fail" Friday announced,_ as if we couldn't see the giant red X on the screen.

Stark immediately began correcting his calculations.

"Try this one"

Fail.

"Try this"

Fail.

"Seventeenth time is the charm"

Fail.

"Stark"

"Run it"

Fail.

"Stark"

Fail.

"Stark"

Fail.

"Stark"

Fail.

"Damnit what am I missing?!"

"STARK!!"

"WHAT?!"

Stark's look was one of manic fear.

Urgency and desperation.

A look I knew all too well.

"You fear her control that much?" I inquired softly.

I watched as Stark breathed in. And out.

"Portals. The darkness. Falling...Dying" Stark began, his eyes distant and unseeing, "The Avengers may have defeated the Chitauri, but I never stopped seeing them...Never stopped falling...Afraid that we wouldn't be ready next time we had intergalactic visitors knocking on our door"

The overwhelming presence that was Thanos' very being made its way to the forefront of my mind, causing a shiver to trail its way up my spine.

"Then we go and retrieve the Scepter in Sokovia and Maximoff forces her way into my head, forcing my deepest fears to the forefront of my mind again...A vision of death and destruction at the hands of another invasion...Everyone dead because we weren't prepared...Because I hadn't done more" Stark exclaimed, choking on his memories, "At first she had just wanted to torture me with my own fears...But then seeing my fear she saw the chance for a much greater retribution...To use my fear to have me 'do more'. To have the weapons maker craft a weapon that would destroy him like his Company's weapons killed her parents"

'Ultron' my mind supplied.

From the reports Stark had been under the compulsion to 'do more' by both the Witch and the Scepter. The Scepter fueling his panicked need to build and the true culprit behind how the Ultron program was given sentience.

Though according to reports, until more than half the Avengers had gone rogue nobody had known Maximoff's own hand in the robot's creation other than Fury and Stark. 

"I _can't_ be responsible for something like that again...I _have_ to know that my thoughts are my own...That I _will_ be good enough to protect what matters to me" Stark softly proclaimed, sounding almost as if he'd forgotten that I was there and he was admitting a secret promise to the universe.

Ultron was Stark's fault.

The Chitauri Invasion was my fault.

If it sounds right why question it?

Why was that?

Because Stark and I had done wrong in the past?

Because we weren't as morally upstanding as others?

Because we deserved to be continually punished for our hand in any less than favorable outcome?

My expression darkened at the unjust reminder that for people like myself...and now I realize for Stark as well...that we will never be truly forgiven...no matter what we do.

"There was nothing" I began, startling him out of his own nightmares, "Just an endless consuming void of darkness as I fell helplessly through the dimensions of space"

An endless darkness.

"There was nothing. No one...And just as madness was settling in... The plead for death...I heard _him...Thanos_ " I regaled, my voice cracking as my chest grew heavy, harder to breathe, "His words...twisted and commanding...yet intelligent...and unbending...He knew how to exploit one's pain...their emotions...to rule them with fear"

The destruction of half of all life.

And I had wanted to be the surviving half.

"He bolstered my bitterness...My hatred for my brother...my circumstances...my perceived injustices...He promised me my birthright...that I would live if I gave him what it was that he wanted...And wielding the Mind Stone all I could feel was that bitterness and hatred...And the determination to succeed so that I would live" I grimly admitted.

Thanos had no use for failures.

He'd made that abundantly clear.

But of course the world is black and white.

Not a mess of a million different shades of gray.

The mere thought of other factors involved in an incident was preposterous.

Except it is never a single event or decision. It is a confluence of events and decisions with more than a single individual involved.

A fact many fail to see.

"A desire for security is something I can understand" I began, gazing into To-Stark's eyes.

Surprisingly they held no pity, but rather an intense understanding.

"If I may? I can place an enchantment on you, one that will notify me whenever Maximoff uses her powers on you or if the Rogues are ever in your presence?" I found myself offering.

There is not much of anything that can ease my fears of the Tyrant...But perhaps I can ease Ton-Stark's fear just a bit.

"Really?" Stark exclaimed, his eyes widening in...touched disbelief, his voice one of hope and awe.

"If you'd like" I confirmed, stepping closer to his person so that we were very nearly chest to chest.

"Yes" Ton-Stark exhaled, his eyes shining in anticipation.

Ding.

Startled, the two of us wheeled around to look at the green check on the holoscreen.

"Huh. Well how bout that? A success" he stated, huffing out a small laugh.

For the briefest of moments it felt as though he were talking about _us._

Of course he wasn't.

But….

"Yes" I agreed, looking at his relaxed expression, the tension from his stress and fears abating, "I believe it is Tony"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snakes also symbolize healing ;)
> 
> Stark is now Tony!! <3
> 
> Next up is the bedroom scene ;)


	4. Transformation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All!
> 
> The long awaited bedroom scene!
> 
> Enjoy!

**(Loki's POV)**

I am a possessive and selfish person by nature.

What's mine is mine and what's yours...well...if I like it then it's mine too.

If I want something I'll take it.

If you take it back then I'll just take it again and stab you for good measure in order to get my point across:

_Don't touch my things._

Apparently Maximoff wasn't very good at heeding those bricks to the head.

Anthony Edward Stark is _mine._

Ever since our little heart to heart in the lab I've been overly aware of _every_ person close to Tony.

Wu, Cho, Jane, and Selvig were colleagues, enough said.

Bruce I dismissed.

Mostly because I didn't want to be an indent in the floor in an attempt to play alpha male with the Hulk….

But both him and Bruce are firmly friendzoned anyway, so I'm good with letting sleeping bears lie.

Hogan was loyal, but inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.

Parker and Keener were basically Tony's children and therefore no competition for anything other than his attention.

Though some ass-kissery may be necessary later depending on how long Tony and I's "relationship" lasts...Plans TBA.

Colonel Rhodes was not a threat.

Not a romantic one at least.

Potts on the other hand was a person of interest to keep a close eye on.

I don't like how she says, "Will that be all Mr. Stark?"

And I like how Tony responds even less.

You can feel the charged history between them.

And I don't like sharing.

Maximoff on the other hand was threat number one merely because she _refused to back down._

Ever since our exquisite make-out session in the kitchen she has nearly doubled her efforts to show Tony that she was the better, more thoughtful, more tender lover.

The first time she dared to brush her hand up and down Tony's arm I flung her like a rag doll across the room.

Of course Tony, while grateful, still chastised me for going overboard (and inadvertently gave the Witch hope that he actually cared something for her miserable life).

So physical harm was off the table.

Fine.

There were plenty of other ways to satisfy my desire for spiteful retribution.

 _Pleasurable_ ones at that.

Finding different ways to flaunt sexual acts in the Witch's presence had to be the most satisfying game I'd ever created.

And the most sexually frustrating.

To push Tony's body prone onto the Lounge couch and lay my form down upon his, slotting together like puzzle pieces, grinding our cocks together in delicious friction while engaging in a war of tongues, only to cease said activities after the Witch was escorted out of the room and never reach completion was the epitome of _maddening._

At this rate I was going to die of blue balls (pun not intended).

Though it was interesting to note that, sexually, Tony let me get away with _quite_ a lot.

It had become a mini-game in itself just to see how far I could take our public intamacies before Tony told me that I needed to reel myself back in.

So far I've been given no red lights.

Not even when I used my magic's tendrils to blatantly grope and foddle him beneath his clothes during our spar in front of the rest of the Avengers.

Though Colonel Rhodes did fire one of his canons at me and I was issued a formal warning to _never_ do it again during team training.

That being said, no matter how much I found my desire to feel the warm caress of Tony's skin against mine increasing at an alarmingly rapid pace, the two of us kept a friendly distance from each other when we were alone.

And the more time we spent together I could no longer brush off my desires as merely carnal.

His mind was the most fascinating marvel I had ever had the pleasure to bear witness to.

The sheer amount of possibilities and ideas endlessly circling through his mind was truly marvelous.

I could see how humans would misinterpret his seemingly scattered speech as incoherent or dismissive, but it wasn't either.

Tony's mind processed things so quickly that before anyone, including himself, was done speaking he had already anticipated what they would say and come up with ten solutions to the problem.

To put it simply Tony's mind never rested.

And in turn neither did he.

If there was an issue brought to his attention he was compelled to solve the problem.

Be it for better or worse, his mind yearned to flex itself on anything in order to occupy its restlessness.

And I was more than happy to engage.

Science and magic are one and the same.

Discussing theories, testing hypotheses and the validity of my claims was a highlight of our time spent together.

I'd grown fond of our lab 'dates'.

Of course when people started bringing up the fact the two of us never went _out_ on dates, we immediately rectified the flaw in our plan.

From there tabloids and media pounced on our 'relationship' like hyenas.

_Has Stark finally gone off the deep end?_

_Did the UN sell off Stark in an unholy marriage alliance?_

_The Poster Couple For Redemption?_

_The Merchant of Death and Alien Invader, meet your future overlords._

_Is Loki up to his usual bag of tricks?_

_Is it legal to marry an alien?_

_Pass Around the Stark Doll! The Ideal Mind Controller's Collector Item!_

Suffice to say I found myself disliking humans even more.

Mindless drivel and meaningly spiteful gossip that served explicitly no purpose.

The only headline worth any amount of expenditure of brain cell energy was whether or not Tony and I could legally marry on Midgard.

While the _Statesman's_ arrival on Midgard had all Midgardian country leaders on edge, ultimately our status had been ruled as immigrants (from space) who have since settled in the newly established country of New Asgard in Tonsberg, Norway.

Since New Asgard was officially recognized as a country on Midgard the law seemed to mostly rule in favor of yes, Tony and I could marry so long as we followed the marriage laws in whatever country it was that we married in, be it the US or New Asgard.

That being said, there were of course dissenters who were wholly against the "blasphemous" idea of an alien marrying a human.

There were also the ignorant buffoons who questioned why the dissenters cared so much if Tony and I were to marry as "two men can't procreate anyway".

How I yearn to blow their small-minded underdeveloped brains with just how wrong _that_ assumption was.

How Tony could just ignore the slander was beyond me. Even I had a limit.

Even tonight, sitting in our private booth at Tony's favorite Italian restaurant for our weekly 'outing' (read: plotting), I was close to chucking my steak knife at the nearest high class snob pointing their noses up at us.

But I didn't.

I didn't break the hand of the bold waiter who batted his eyelashes and intentionally brushed his fingers against _my_ (fake) boyfriend's hand.

I didn't force respect from those whispering their disapproval as we ate.

Or enact revenge at the vermin who passionately vocalized their disgust.

Or harm back those brave few who actually threw garbage at us on our walk back to the Compound.

I let Tony be the judge of what was serious and in need of 'dealing' with.

It was progress.

And as hard as it was not to fall back into old habits, I found that I wanted to...show Tony that there was more to me than someone who just lied, stole, and stabbed his way through situations.

So no injured socialites. No injured civilians.

Progress.

But I was still pissed off.

Having to restrain myself all night had me wound up in a tight furious ball and I was in dire need of some form of catharsis.

Realizing this Tony suggested that we spend some time in the Training Room.

He just needed to change his attire first.

So I teleported us the rest of the way to the Compound.

And because I am such a gentleman I teleported us directly outside his room.

"Alright, just give me a few minutes and you'll have a moving target to take your frustrations out on" Tony joked, unbuttoning his waistcoat.

 _"Boss your room's been compromised!" Friday frantically alerted_ , immediately stopping Tony in his tracks and causing my muscles to tense up in anticipation of a fight.

"What do you mean my room's been _compromised_?" Tony demanded, his eyes glowing blue as he called his suit to him.

_"Maximoff used her powers to break in and took it upon herself to...set the mood, awaiting your return" Friday detailed, sounding repulsed._

I had no doubt that if she had a body Friday would have been dry heaving.

I felt a tick in my eye twitching, my patience and tolerance having already reached its peak hours ago.

"Dare I even ask what that even means?" Tony muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyes back to their normal brown.

_"I already ordered you a new bed and bed sheets Boss" Friday skillfully avoided._

I could feel the imaginary thread of my control getting impressively thinner and thinner, the strain beginning to pull it apart.

"Friday" Tony said sternly, crossing his arms.

_"...........She is laying nude beneath your bed sheets" Friday answered, sounding like she was cringing._

Tony's face turned an unattractive shade of white and green as his throat lurched.

Aaaannnd snap.

If that was the game Maximoff wanted to play then so be it.

Reaching forward I intertwined my fingers through the curls of Tony's hair at the nape of his neck pulling his mouth to meet mine.

After a moment of surprise Tony began matching my movements as I devoured what was mine.

With a flick of my fingers I telekinetically unbuttoned Tony's vest, and dress shirt, flinging them away without a care, snapping my own shirts and waistcoat back to my closet.

Taking Tony's pleasurable groan as approval I used my magic to lift him a few inches into the air so that I could remove those pesky dress pants, using Tony's squeak of surprise to my advantage I took control of the kiss and possessively began mapping out every crevice.

With Tony now stripped down to his undergarments, and myself top exposed, it was time to begin.

Leading Tony backwards (without disconnecting our mouths of course) I used my own magic to do as the Witch likely did and take control of the machinations of the door and opened it for us.

The resulting screech nearly blew out my eardrums.

Making sure to keep my grip on Tony’s waist I turned my gaze to the bed and sent a look sharper than any of my knives at the unintelligent nympho clutching the covers around her nude form, her knuckles white and expression twisted in seething outrage made even more ghastly by the shadows of the candlelight flickering across her face.

 _“How dare you sully **our** chambers”_ I proclaimed, my voice shaking with every ounce of the fury I felt at the Witch’s audacity.

With a snap of my fingers the candle flames burst into flamethrowers, torching the soiled bed sheets the Witch had no place even laying her unworthy eyes on.

Startled, the Witch let out a terrified shriek before struggling to untangle herself from the sheets, flaming petals floating into the air as she frantically tumbled onto the carpet before she caught fire.

Tsk. Shame.

The Witch remained huddled on the floor, shamefully trying to keep her privates covered, tears welling in her eyes in embarrassment.

‘Good’ I thought, gripping Tony’s waist tighter, ‘May this be a lesson in respecting boundaries’

Though I could hear Tony doing his best to stifle a laugh I felt him using his arms to push away from me, silently asking for his freedom, which I granted.

“I’m going to assume that this wasn’t the gift I was promised back at my room” Tony stated sarcastically, though the mirth in his tone was noticeable as he made his way over to his closet.

Good. The sooner he got changed the better.

“I just wanted you to see me as a woman” Maximoff muttered softly, sniffing pitifully into her knees.

“I do” Tony exclaimed seriously, walking out of his closet with a long black dress coat, bending down just enough to place it around the Witch’s shoulders.

I scowled in contempt at his bleeding heart. Even for his enemies.

(Though a traitorous voice in the back of my mind reminded me that I had been that enemy once).

“Look Maximoff, you’re a strong young woman and you have your whole life ahead of you. So stop wasting it on me. We’re _never_ going to happen” Tony firmly proclaimed, gesturing back and forth between the two of them, “I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not going to apologize for feelings I don’t have”

Maximoff just gripped the coat around her tighter, tears threatening to fall as she stood up.

“So...I’m...nothing to you…?” Maximoff inquired brokenly, gazing at Tony with a shattered expression.

“Not nothing” Tony corrected sternly, “You’re a teammate. A comrade. And maybe, _maybe_ , we can work on being sort of friends. _But you need to move on first_ ”

Maximoff said nothing for a moment, gazing at Tony appraisingly before giving him a slow nod of acceptance.

Could it be that something may have _finally_ gotten through to her?

“What about your coat?” she asked, holding onto it as if it were some sort of lifeline.

“Keep it. Burn it. Doesn’t matter, just skedaddle. I don’t do threesomes anymore unless otherwise negotiated with my partner” Tony dismissively proclaimed, not so subtly telling the Witch to finally take a hike.

“I don’t share” I immediately proclaimed, my tone the vocal equivalent of an immovable wall.

Regathering what was left of her dignity, Maximoff made her way out of the room.

As she passed me by I couldn’t help but give her a smug victorious grin, telepathically sending her a single thought the moment she set foot outside the room and slamming the door shut behind her.

_Don't touch my things._

* * *

“You think you can keep this up for him?” Agent Ross inquired, sounding genuinely curious, waiting outside the deliberation room as he always was.

“Keep up what?” I inquired, curious as to what his most recent complaint was.

“Your reformation...For Stark” he clarified, his tone serious.

I blinked in surprise.

There was not even the barest hint of mocking or skepticism in his tone.

“I don’t believe I’m following” I stated confused.

Reformation? I was merely, reluctantly, following the law because it benefited me at the moment.

“I have eyes. I see the way you look at him” Agent Ross exclaimed, as if it were obvious.

“And what way is that?” I inquired curiously, deciding to indulge him.

“If you were going for discreet might I suggest less eye fucking?” Agent Ross proclaimed with a knowing smirk.

“Throwing my words back in my face are we?” I stated amused and mildly impressed by the back-sass.

“Look, I didn’t believe your relationship was legit. Not at first. But your feelings for Stark are obvious” Ross confidently proclaimed.

“Oh really now? How obvious is that?” I stated, slightly concerned that if my growing feeling were becoming that obvious did that mean Tony knew as well?

“About as obvious as the torch Rogers carries for Barnes” Ross scoffed, rolling his eyes in exasperation.

“Indeed. Though telling him as much is like attacking a vibranium wall” I agreed.

How someone could be so accepting of others’ expression of sexuality and gender and yet be in such firm denial of his own truly was a baffling conundrum.

And yet, not my problem.

“You’ve changed. I mean you’re still you of course, but you're actually showing that you care for something other than your own self interest" Ross confidently declared, his fingers playing with an intricate beaded bracelet on his wrist.

"I'll have you know my own self-interest is still very much my priority" I rebuked, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Because that's why you've been requesting yourself as back up on every mission Stark goes on...Why you accompany him to charities, galas, and children's hospitals. And that new SI charity for adopted kids? Something tells me that wasn't all Stark's idea" Ross countered, stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest, "Just admit it to yourself. You've changed"

"…………."

“The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind” T’Challa sagely exclaimed, his stride relaxed yet defensive as he came between myself and Agent Ross, and Okoye giving me the stink eye from behind him.

I blew her a kiss.

“Friedrich Nietzsche?” Agent Ross inquired, sounding pleasantly surprised.

“Why so shocked?” T’Challa, grinned, clearly amused (and showing off for his bae if his puffed up chest and ego were any indication).

“Always keeping me on my toes” Ross playfully teased, a low heat growing in his eyes hidden behind his amusement.

"Unpredictability is the natural spice of life” T’Challa justified, giving Ross a sly smirk.

For Frigga’s sake how hasn’t anyone discovered their relationship yet?

Was the heteronormative lens of Midgard that blinding?

“Agent Ross”

We turned to see CIA canon fodder agent number 1 gesturing for his Boss to come over.

“One moment” Agent Ross, excused himself, his expression schooled to a far more serious one.

“That bracelet he wears?” I inquired to the King once we were alone, curious of the meaning behind the gift.

Because it was clearly Wakandan made.

The question was what purpose did it serve?

An identifier? A weapon? A communication device?

Or was it merely jewelry?

“My way of ensuring his safety without insulting his capabilities” T’Challa vaguely explained, his worried eyes still trained on his consort who was likely discussing his next mission with his underling.

An unassuming way to ensure his love’s safety…

I liked the sound of that.

* * *

Today was the day.

I was going to do it.

I'd taken almost three weeks for what was left of the Asgardian forgers to craft what I'd asked, and another week for me to place the necessary enchantments.

The question was whether or not I could go through with it.

For the moment I was staving off my nerves by allowing myself to indulge in my desires.

Namely using the Rogues' presence as an excuse to treat Tony as if he truly was my lover.

Knowing all the Rogues would be in attendance tonight we went with our usual 'movie night'.

Personally I thought these nights were merely Tony's excuse to force me to experience "pop culture".

I swore Tony picked certain 'fantasy' movies just for the sake of hearing me criticize their depiction of magic.

But movie nights were my excuse to freely hold Tony close and do "cutesy" things such as hand feed him popcorn and conjure him coffee, with him none the wiser of my true feelings.

If a version of myself had told me almost a year ago that I'd be willingly engaging in any of these activities I'd just ask him, "To what end I was doing it for?"

If that same version of myself told me that I'd fall in love with a mortal?

I'd laugh.

The mere idea utterly ridiculous.

…….But here I was.

Instead of pursuing my back up plan of once again faking my death and traversing off into the vastness of space, I was gritting my teeth through a probation governed by brainless monkeys on a backwater planet whose inhabitants had only served as toys for my own amusement the few times I traversed here out of boredom.

All because I fell in love with a mortal who should have been born out in the wonders of space where the technology matched his intelligence and visions for the future.

Glancing at Tony out of the corner of my eye I couldn't help but admire his regal model-like profile, the smoothness of his face, bare of his trademark goatee.

Tony let me get away with quite a lot…

The question was whether he'd let me get away with this.

"Anthony" I addressed, causing his attention to snap to me in confusion.

I silently prayed that my nerves weren't overly obvious.

"What's up Buttercup?" Tony inquired, sounding slightly concerned.

Taking a deep breath I blocked out our unwelcome guests from my mind.

It was just him and me.

"It was in a room similar to this that you first offered me a chance at redemption for my actions" I began, my voice deep and steady as I gazed into Tony's eyes with a firm resolution, recalling the moment Tony had first offered me that drink and the chance to stand down.

"Back then I wasn't in the right frame of mind to take what you were offering to me" I continued, clenching the back of the couch, ignoring the trivial whispers of the urchins behind us, "And even after I manipulated you all in order to gain access to your Tower to bring the Chitauri to Earth, causing your very nightmares, you still opened your facilities to me, standing beside my brother in advocating for me to be given a second chance despite what I have done"

Knowing that my actions played a large part in my Love's terrors left a scarring regret across my heart that I can only hope I can use the rest of his life to make up for.

The fact that I had been under mental influence and duress didn't alleviate that pain.

And it never will.

"You offered me the chance to be more than a stigma and preconceived notion. To experience the possibilities of a better life without asking me to change who I am" I pressed on doggedly, my eyes blazing in stubborn determination.

I was going to do this for the man making me a better person.

No matter the end result.

"And for that, I now wish to give you an offer of my own" I proclaimed, sliding my arm off of Tony's shoulder, moving from the couch and ever so gracefully onto one knee in front of him, as was the custom on Midgard.

I watched as Tony's eyes widened in sheer disbelief.

Not looking away from Tony's eyes even once, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the ring, currently in it's dormant form in the shape of a small gold orb approximately double the size of a pea.

I resisted the urge to chuckle as Tony's expression went from one of disbelief to absolute confusion as he tried to figure out just what it was that I was offering to him.

But before he could even ask what the object was I pressed the activation points, watching with deep prideful satisfaction as Tony's expression shifted to one of wonder and awe as the small orb morphed right in front of his eyes, expanding upwards in an arch, the sides connecting together at the top to form a beautiful gold ring adorned with gorgeous red gems embedded in the metal.

Speechless.

I had rendered Anthony Edward Stark speechless.

"Anthony Edward Stark. Will you do me the honor of becoming my husband?" I inquired, my tone holding no hint of jest as I held the ring up to him between my pale fingers, waiting with bated breath for his answer, forcing the nervous trembles to remain at bay as I lay my heart on my sleeve for the first time in my life.

"Yes"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snakes also symbolize personal transformation ;)
> 
> Next up is the fight, and then 2 more chapters after that! Stay tuned!
> 
> Also, as a side note: I kind of always saw Steve Rogers as a bisexual demiromantic in the MCU, but his unhealthy obsession with Peggy/the past, combined with the time period he grew up in, plus others' expectations of him being heterosexual colored his own perceptions of himself (cough writers sucked cough).


	5. Vindictiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All!
> 
> This chapter was much easier to write, hence the quick update!
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

**(Loki's POV)**

"Not in a million years" I proclaimed with firm finality, my patience having already reached its maximum percent for the day after dealing with the UN's meddling in Tony and I's affairs.

Apparently the world gets a little twitchy when an alien prince and billionaire tech super-genius get engaged.

Particularly when said prince knows mind magic, and said billionaire has enough former SHIELD agents in his International Tech Conglomerate to form his own spy agency.

We had wasted our entire morning not so politely informing the UN that they had no legal right to prevent our engagement, let alone interfere in our personal lives.

(As if Tony would waste his time when he could hack into their governments on his own).

And now to return home to Tonsberg only to find Thor trying to plan Tony and I's wedding?

No.

Just no.

"Why not? I've blessed many unions in the past. It's a time honored Asgardian tradition! Even if I no longer have Mjolnir" Thor excitedly proclaimed.

"Even if you did I wouldn't let you place your _hammer_ anywhere near us. You are not blessing Tony and I's union and that's final" I exclaimed, my eye twitching.

Mother had been the one to bless all the marriages on Asgard. It was one of the few traditions she actually passed onto Thor, though since Mother had still been alive his role had shifted more to blessing the female's womb so that the union would bare fruit.

_My brother was not touching my womb in any way. Figuratively or otherwise._

"I told him he was being stupid, but I say it so much it doesn't even register anymore" Brunnhilde deadpanned.

"That fault is mine" I grumbled, rubbing my fingers along the bridge of my nose.

This was not what I wanted to be doing today.

It was bad enough I had to deal with the UN all morning and that I now have to meet up with Strange and Vision for some task.

Correcting my brother's notions of what Tony and I would like in our hypothetical wedding is additional stress I do not need at the moment.

Perhaps I should create a portal and pawn him off to Jane for the time being and let her deal with him.

Suddenly I felt a familiar flare.

The enchantment I placed on Tony to inform me that he was in one of the Rogues' presence alerting me to the danger.

While normally that would be my cue to teleport myself to his side, it was Team Training Day, so my enchantment going off wasn't unexpected.

"I just want a part of our Mother to be present in the ceremony" Thor solemnly proclaimed, his light-hearted expression growing serious, his eyes displaying the grief he tries to hide, "Blessing your union would have been one of the greatest joys of her life"

Damn him.

Though she had never placed any pressure on Thor or I to marry, I did know that she had always silently hoped that we would find someone we loved, get married, and give her adorable grandchildren to dote on.

My heart clenched at the thought of Mother not being there to bless my marriage.

'Ridiculous' I reprimanded myself, 'It is not as if Tony and I will actually be getting married'

….I think.

….I yearned to though.

"I'll _consider_ you performing Mother's part in the ceremony" I ground out, cringing slightly, holding my hand out to halt his exclamation of joy at getting his way, "But! You are _not_ performing the Blessing of Fertility!"

"Why?" Thor all but whined, pouting in disapproval, "I want to be an Uncle!"

"Again. Not your decision to make" I grit out, my eye starting to twitch again.

Though the unwitting image of brown haired, green eyed children popped into my mind before I discarded it as a ridiculous fantasy.

Suddenly a vicious jolt rocked my body forward.

"What's wrong?" Thor demanded, all hints of jest and levity gone.

_How dare she._

My magic rippled furiously around me.

With an animalistic growl I immediately teleported to Tony's side.

My scenery shifted from the stone, metal, and wood of our castle to the linoleum and window covered halls of the Compound, arriving just in time to see the enchantments I weaved into Tony's ring dissipate the Witch's magic and recede back into the ring, Tony's exhale of relief clearly audible as he looked upon the gift with sheer grateful wonder.

'He shouldn't have _had_ to discover the secret function of the ring' I thought furiously, my anger bubbling up like lava at the Witch's assault on Tony's mind.

"No!" the Witch indignantly screeched at having been thwarted, smacking the Scepter against the tiled floors like a tantruming child.

Why and how the Witch suddenly came into its possession I was curious, but ultimately it was inconsequential to the matter at hand.

With or without the Scepter I was going to crush her like the insect she was.

Taking advantage of her distraction I launched an energy blast at her.

Unfortunately, just in the knick of time the pesky little fire ant managed to shield herself from my attack, whipping her head around to stare me down.

" _You_ " She raged, her eyes burning with fury I'd dare say very nearly equaled my own.

_That was not allowed._

Hearing Tony's sigh of relief at my presence doubled my resolution to cause the Witch to feel pain greater than she'd _ever_ felt before.

"I see that your scoldings and time-outs were a waste of time" I grit sardonically, my voice deep and rough in my barely contained fury, "I hear corporal punishment can be effective if used properly"

"Save the spankings for me" Tony jokingly cut in as he sat up from the floor tiles.

I forced myself not to smirk at his attempts to lessen the tense atmosphere.

There was _no way_ this wasn't going to end up a fight.

I wouldn't let it even if it was.

The Witch screeched in fury, sending an energy blast at me head on with the Scepter and scowled when I effortlessly shielded myself (as if she wasn't telegraphing her attacks).

"Oh dear. Does our talk of intimacy bother you?" I inquired, my tone soft and casual, but vicious and mocking as I gazed upon Maximoff in utter disdain, "Do you not wish to hear how his nails bite into my back, raking along my skin as I thrust into his body over and over until he reaches the height of his pleasure?"

Just as I planned my words had their intended effect, clouding the Witch's mind with rage so that strategy and forethought were kept to a minimum of none.

Screeching like a banshee being murdered, the Witch focused her telekinesis at me.

The grinding of metal echoed across the room as she tore the steel beams and plaster of the walls apart and flung them, jagged edges first, in my direction.

I scoffed at her mindless attack, teleporting away from the first few pieces of debris and countering the rest with a flick of my wrist, redirecting them with my own telekinesis.

Truth be told I was more annoyed by the fact she was damaging the Compound then worried I'd be hit by a stray girder.

"Or how about each of his moans and hitches of breath as I nip and suck on his nipples while my nails graze upon his shaft and my fingers rub against his prostate ever so slowly until he's begging for me to give him more. To go faster. To just finally take him" I continued unrepentantly, jabbing at her psyche more in retribution for the funds Tony will have to give out to repair the building from her thoughtlessness.

"Shut up!" the Witch roared, letting loose a wave of magical energy across the room, ripping apart everything it came into contact with on the molecular level.

For the Witch's sake she was lucky Tony had managed to flatten himself against the ground before he'd been ripped apart.

Not even the Eternals would be able to save her had he been struck.

Of course I made a show of being "hit" just so that she would have that moment of satisfaction I would be able to rip away.

I'd already slowly begun laying the foundations of a multilayer illusion since my arrival.

The moment I saw the glee in her eyes at having "won" I dispelled the illusion of myself, destroying her small taste of victory with a satisfied grin she could not see.

“Everything was perfect until you stole it!” Maximoff screamed, her blood red eyes, scanning, searching for me with an animalistic snarl, "He was finally going to tell me yes until you came into the picture and ruined our chance to be together!"

'Or more likely you were about to cause him a nervous breakdown' I thought with a scowl, making my way over to Tony.

"Now I know how Thor feels. Just you wait. I'm getting back at you for making me think that you died. Even if it was for a second" Tony chastised, gripping onto my hand like a lifeline when I got close enough, though not using it as leverage to stand, just holding it as if to reassure himself that I was indeed alive.

"And how come she can't see you?" he asked, watching the Witch spin around like a top, an animalistic expression on her face.

"Us" I corrected, returning the comforting pressure, bending down closer to where he was sitting on the floor, "I covered the area in visual and auditory illusions"

Tony nodded, looking impressed.

"While you were playing whack-a-mole with Maximoff I used Extremis to contact Vision. I gave him and Strange the 4-1-1 and they're dealing with the other Avengers now" Tony detailed, his eyes glowing blue as he was no doubt tapping into the security cameras to 'see'.

"The others?" I questioned, wanting more details before I continued with my plan for psychological torture.

"Mind whammied them all. Was going to erase my memories so that we could live out our _destiny_ together" Tony explained, cringing in complete revulsion, "I've dealt with some pretty obsessive delusional fans in the past, but this really takes the cake _and_ the trophy"

My eyes darkened in a new level of calm fury.

I was going to _destroy_ her.

And I knew _exactly_ how I was going to do it.

"Come out and fight me! Come out so I can kill you!" the Witch demanded, fed up with my game of hide-and-seek.

I shifted into Tony's form, every detail perfect.

"Use this!" Tony whispered, though the Witch couldn't hear him, using his technopathic abilities to levitate the magic suppression collar over from the armor he was controlling to my hands.

I shrouded the collar in its own illusion.

Time to put on a show.

"Wanda!" I shouted, immediately getting her attention.

I slowly made my way closer to her, broadcasting each and every one of my movements for her to see, pretending to be a skittish rabbit.

Maximoff just narrowed her eyes skeptically at me, but she didn't stop my advances either.

The fool.

"It wasn't real okay?" I said slowly, stepping ever so closer and closer, "I was just desperate for a reason you'd accept so that you'd stop trying to ask me on a date...Loki and I aren't actually together"

".....You're lying" Maximoff finally stated, a multitude of conflicting emotions flitting across her face.

"I'm not" I said truthfully, finally mere inches from Maximoff's body, "Loki doesn't like you so he was all for pretending to be together. All we did was kiss and grope. And only when you or the other Avengers were around"

Slowly I wrapped my hands gently around Maximoff's arms, caressing them with my fingers (I was going to have to dip them in boiling water later to rid myself of the germs).

The red in Maximoff's eyes faded away, instead displaying a hope-filled green.

Through great restraint I forced myself not to smirk and break character at her foolish hope.

"Really?" she asked, her voice soft and pleading.

I was going to enjoy crushing that pitiful hope of hers.

"I never would've done it had I known that it would cause you so much pain. I truly thought that you would eventually move on" I stated softly, gently moving my fingers up her arm to cradle her face.

Maximoff immediately leaned into the gentle loving gesture.

'Not yet. Not yet. Do not strangle her yet' my mind played on repeat, silently reminding myself that it will all be worth it.

"I was wrong to put you through all that. Loki was never superior to you. You are strong, beautiful, and you've been able to do what I hadn't until now. Grow past the pain we had caused each other" I exclaimed, telling her exactly what it was she wanted to hear as I moved my other hand to the other side of her face, my performance reaching its climax, "Loki can't give me a family. Children. An equal to stand by my side. And if you can find it in your heart to forgive me for all this, than I'd be honored if you would finally go on a date with me"

"Oh Tony of course! I knew you would eventually see the truth" Maximoff exclaimed, bringing her one hand up to hold onto mine, her face one of pure joy and happiness.

_Finally._

"And you know what else?" I asked her, leaning in so that my temple rested against hers (at this rate I'll need a boiling _shower_ ), my mouth right by her ear as I spoke to her softly, gently, so that my next words were that much more sharp.

"What?" Maximoff inquired, her voice sounding much like she was holding back a giggle.

" _You are incredibly naive_ "

Maximoff's eyes widened in horror as I snapped the collar tight around her neck with a satisfying click, cutting off her connection to her magic.

Without giving her a chance to comprehend what was going on I shoved her unceremoniously to the ground, ripping the Scepter from her hand.

Maximoff looked up at me with nothing less than pure devastated betrayal.

_Glorious._

"You truly are a fool" I mockingly proclaimed, shifting my vocal cords back to my own, "While Anthony and I may not actually be together, you are nothing less than delusional if you believe he will ever love _you_ "

I watched with utter satisfaction as Maximoff's eyes widened as in shock she watched me morph back into my own form, the environment around us rippling as I dispelled my illusions.

Maximoff let out a broken noise as she desperately yanked at the confining collar, her eyes pleading for this to be another illusion.

While I am called the God of Lies and Mischief, even I know that there were times the truth caused the greatest pain, and the lies a band-aid to mask the wound.

And I was happy to rip off hers.

Suddenly a circle of fiery sparks opened up in the room with Strange and Vision floating through the portal.

"How are they?" Tony asked, sounding worried.

"Vision and I freed them from Maximoff's control. Other than a good night's rest and some one-on-one time with a therapist they should be fine" Strange assured him.

"Just happy to have the back up" Tony exclaimed, grunting as he finally picked himself up off the floor.

"The situation was handled" I haughtily sniffed, giving Tony a subtle once over just to be sure that he was injury free.

"Of that I had no doubt. But grabbing a suppression collar from my lab and calling Houdini and Viz to clean up the garbage just seemed easier" Tony pointed out.

"Hm. It does save me having to dirty my hands" I agreed.

I'd already touched the Witch far too much for my liking.

If I was forced to do so anymore it would be my fingers around her throat.

"Speaking of dirty hands...Do you just have an extremely vivid imagination or do you fantasize about us a lot?" Tony inquired bravely, his tone sly, though there was a slight uncertain tremor underneath the courageous facade.

"......"

Shit.

I'd forgotten about that little detail.

It hadn't even occurred to me in my fury that in vocalizing my fantasies in front of Maximoff to torture her I was also vocalizing them to Tony as well….

I'd finally found someone I love and I scare him-

"Because I don't mind. At all. That was more than okay. Downright scandalous. Sexy even" Tony babbled nervously, cutting off my spiralling thoughts.

Blink. Blink.

….What?

"...You are not repulsed by the idea?" I carefully inquired, daring to hope against my better rationality.

"Me? God no. You? You're not repulsed by the idea of you know, us?" Tony questioned, his eyes lighting up in joyous possibility.

"Evidently not" I replied, a wry smirk forming on my lips, the tension of my chest releasing in relief, my tone laced in amusement.

Was it truly possible?

Could I really have that happy ending too, just as Mother always said?

"So this is it? We're a thing now? I mean we are technically engaged. Are we engaged? Cause God I'd like to be" Tony commented gleefully, a giddy smile making its way onto his face as he stepped into my personal space.

"As you wish" I proclaimed playfully, teasingly taking that cheesy line from that fairy tale movie Tony made me watch last week and using it to my advantage as I wrapped my arms around Tony's waist.

I was engaged.

 _We_ were engaged.

For _real._

"I regret showing you the Princess Bride" Tony groaned, placing his head on my shoulder in shame.

I just gripped _my_ fiance tighter.

"No!" Maximoff screeched in denial, ugly tears pouring down her face.

She was currently being held back by Strange, her arms bound by a fiery rope.

The second I saw a twinge of guilt for the Witch in _my_ Love's eyes I flicked one of my hands out in Maximoff's direction, my magic obeying my command and creating a strip of duct tape to form over her mouth.

 _Magically_ reinforced duct tape.

"Silence wench. We are having a moment" I sneered, my eyes icy cold.

She was not going to ruin this for us.

"What's going to happen with her now?" I heard Tony ask beneath my chin.

I scowled at his concern for the unworthy Witch.

"Vision will use the Mind Stone to strip her of her powers. However since the Mind Stone only tainted and mutated her own natural aptitude for magic she will remain with me at Kamar-Taj to be both trained and imprisoned until she is deemed fit to return to society" Strange informed us, for once not staring at _me_ in contempt.

"I wouldn't hold my breath" Tony muttered, echoing my own thoughts.

The Witch was far better off disposed of.

"Before you leave, I have one last thing that I wish to say to her" I stated, forcing myself to relinquish the hold I had on Tony.

But alas, it was a necessary evil.

There was one final point I needed to make clear with her before she was hauled away.

Striding over to the Witch, I tilted my head so that my lips were by Maximoff's ear once again, ignoring the inconsequential burning loathing being stabbed at me with her eyes.

"I am a shapeshifter who has very _female_ days. Child-bearing is of no issue" I whispered to her smugly.

Muffled screams rang throughout the destroyed corridor.

Ah. Music to my ears.

Strange passed the struggling Witch off to Vision, escorting her through another portal he had conjured up, her muffled screams growing fainter and fainter as she was lead further and further away.

And with each step I felt more and more secure in Tony's safety.

"Do I even want to know what you said?" Tony asked, a boundless curiosity lighting up his eyes.

_"I am a shapeshifter who has very **female** days. Child-bearing is of no issue"_

Once again the image of brown haired, green eyed children filled my mind.

"I'm sure the topic will come up in the near future" I commented slyly, leaning forward to capture Tony's soft pliant lips.

And what a bright future it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snakes also symbolize vindictiveness of course ;)
> 
> One more chapter and then the epilogue!!


	6. Fertility

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All!
> 
> Dang I'm on a roll here!
> 
> Enjoy!

**(Loki's POV)**

"I'd say that about checks everything" Strange exclaimed, sounding satisfied as he gazed upon the magical 3D dimensional map floating in front of us.

It had taken us months to conceptualize and craft the spell (Strange's new job of babysitting Maximoff not helping in the slightest).

The result?

A sensory masterpiece.

If anything was amiss in either our, or any of the other dimensional planes within our universe the map would detect it immediately.

"Indeed" Vision agreed, "All the barriers between dimensions are accounted for and confirmed to be in good strength"

"How delightfully boring" I commented sarcastically.

"I think we've all had enough chaos to last a lifetime" Strange retorted knowingly, not believing my words for a second.

How annoyingly perceptive of him.

And as loathe as I was to admit it, he was correct.

It has only been a mere two months since Thanos' attempt at universal genocide.

Two months since our harrowing victory.

One month since Tony and I's wedding.

Watching the love of my life be shish kabobed by his own armor really does put things into perspective.

Of course I didn't have the high ground to rightfully lecture him seeing as I faked being strangled to death by the Space Grape's hands.

But like all well laid plans it all worked out in the end.

Even if I did reveal myself too early in the face of my Love's imminent murder.

"Agreed. And it brings me great joy to exceed that limit for you" I teasingly mocked, giving him a less exaggerated Grinch smile.

"If anyone is making my life a chaotic mess it's Maximoff" Strange grumbled unhappily.

"Odin's beard! The scandal! I am no longer your number one threat! What _ever_ will you do?!" I sarcastically exclaimed in false panic.

"Just because you are lower on my list does not mean I trust you anymore than I had before" Strange deadpanned, giving me an exasperated eyeroll.

"That depends. How low on the list am I?" I inquiringly teased.

"We're done here" Strange scoffed, pretending to 'occupy' himself with other matters.

"I disagree" I retorted, telekinetically shutting the text he had opened.

"Of course you do, but I'm not here to cater to your ego" Strange countered back with an annoyed glare.

"I'm just here to deflate yours" I exclaimed with a grin.

"I have more important things to be doing right now" Strange irately proclaimed, reopening the text, though his eyes were still firmly staring me down.

"Dr. Palmer is likely in an operating theater right now. Hardly the place for such unsanitary actions" I proclaimed, relishing in the increased intensity of his glare and the subtle twitch he'd developed in his eye.

"You wish you could portal me through dimensions right now don't you?" I mockingly teased.

"I'm weighing the pros and cons" Strange grit out.

And yet he wouldn't.

Apparently Tony had a heart to heart (read: standoff) with Strange and politely explained (read: threatened) why it was inhumane to use someone's trauma against them.

Strange had surprisingly enough taken their discussion to heart and agreed to threaten me via other means should I return to villainy.

According to Tony he swished away dramatically, Levi floating in the wind behind him.

And people call me the diva.

"I am not sure if this banter is healthy for you" Vision interrupted, floating between us.

A buzz kill as always.

He should go bother the Witch if he wished for someone to lecture and guide.

According to Strange and Tony he visited her often enough anyway.

"If I am not bantering then you _should_ send a healer for me" I retorted, raising an eyebrow at the Android.

"Even so, in your delicate condition-"

"Even when I was on probation with the UN I only moderated my sarcasm. I am not going to start biting my tongue now just because I _might_ be placed back on it" I snipped back, not appreciating his nosing in on how I choose to interact with others.

"That is not what I was referring to" Vision pointedly corrected.

I have him a confounded look.

"I was speaking in the child's best interest" Vision corrected, seeing my confusion.

"Child? What child? There is no child here" Strange exclaimed, looking around the room just to be sure.

"He's in denial" I stated, humorously gesturing my head in Strange's direction.

Vision blinked owlishly for a moment before an expression akin to realization crossed his robotic features.

"I apologize" Vision exclaimed in surprise, "I had not realized that it was a secret"

"Vision, what in Midgard are you talking about?" I demanded, fed up with the avoidance of the actual explanation.

"....The child….you are carrying...I can feel their mind…" Vision slowly explained, sounding extremely cautious.

"..............................................................................................................................................What?"

* * *

Positive.

Every test.

Positive.

It wasn't possible.

Not _im_ possible (clearly), but _not possible._

I shouldn't be pregnant.

We hadn't even been _trying._

We both agreed that we wanted kids, but both Tony and I weren't sure if his status as Homo Extremis and my status as a Frost Giant would allow us to even _conceive._

'Well' I thought, staring at the green flowing "Positive" spelled out in front of me after my tenth magical scan, 'That answers that question I suppose'

Pregnant.

I was pregnant.

_I was pregnant._

_I was pregnant!!_

Tony and I were having a baby!!

….Now how do I tell him?

"Everything alright?"

I turned to see the very man I longed for at the moment….and Thor.

'I thought he was away with Jane and Torunn?' I wondered with a slight scowl at his unexpected presence in the Castle.

"HUGIN and MUNIN told me that you came back from the Sanctum and beelined straight for the infirmary" Tony worriedly exclaimed, making his way over to me as I dissipated the spell, not wanting him to speculate off that.

 _I_ wanted to be the one to tell him.

"Strange didn't do anything did he? I thought the two of you had a truce?" Tony near demanded as he looked me over for injuries, "It was the portals again wasn't it? When I get my hands on that damn street corner magician-"

"Strange has done nothing....But you did" I proclaimed, cutting him off and intentionally wording my sentence so that Tony would assume the worst so as to increase the potency of the surprise.

"Wha-" Tony stuttered, his eyes widening in shame and guilt, looking much like he'd been slapped, " _I_ hurt you?"

The pain and sorrow in his voice immediately made me regret my little tease.

That was _not_ funny.

Of course just as I was about to tell him the joyous news and fix my mistake Thor cut between us like the brute he was.

"What have you done to harm my sister so that she needed medical help?" Thor demanded furiously, stepping into Tony's space threateningly.

"The only one here who is going to need medical help is _you_ if you do not step away from my husband this instant you ingrate!" I exclaimed, readying myself to toss my brother through the air in the very likely event he did not listen.

"But you said-"

"I am _trying_ to tell my husband that I am pregnant and you are ruining our happy moment you buffoon!" I bellowed, glaring daggers at my brother and seriously debating throwing real ones in his direction.

"......................"

"......................"

".......................Really?" Tony stated in hope-filled awe, his voice little more than a whisper, as if saying it any louder would make my words untrue.

Taking a few deep breaths to calm myself I turned my attention to my glorious husband, my eyes softening with jubilation.

"Yes" I affirmed, not an ounce of jest in my tone, nothing but sheer happiness.

Tony immediately wrapped his arms around me, clutching me as if I was about to disappear.

And I hugged back equally as hard, his presence reassuring me of this beautiful momen-

"It worked!" Thor proclaimed to the heavens, his arms raised to the sky.

Tony and I paused, blinking in disbelief.

What?

"Excuse me?" I inquired dangerously, releasing my hold on Tony so that we could glare suspiciously at Thor.

My brother froze in place, almost comically so, looking much like a deer in the headlights.

"I um….well…" Thor stammered uncomfortably, refusing to meet our eyes.

Suddenly I was hit by a memory of our wedding after-party.

_"Congratulations! To you both I give my Blessing!" Thor joyously proclaimed, clapping a hand on both Tony and I's shoulders._

_An odd sensation rippled through me for the barest of moments._

_The sensation hadn't been unpleasant so I brushed off my paranoia in favor of leading my husband onto the dance floor._

Twitch.

Twitch.

"Thor" I growled menacingly.

"Now Sister-"

"Run"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snakes also symbolize fertility ;)
> 
> Only the epilogue remains!
> 
> JFYI: this chapter is very important for later stories in this series *hint hint wink wink nudge nudge elbow elbow*
> 
> And oh Thor *sighs*
> 
> As a side note:
> 
> Homo Extremis is the actual species name for Extremis users in the comics.
> 
> And Torunn is about 2 years old in this chapter, she was conceived before Thor left in AoU.


	7. Epilogue: Beware

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi All!
> 
> The final chapter! All foreshadowing!
> 
> Enjoy!

**(Loki’s POV)**

_Where was I?_

_Acrid heat and nothingness._

_The dust, dirt, and rubble kicked up around me from the road with each step as I spun around 360 degrees to try and regain my bearings._

_But there was nothing._

_Nothing but stretches and stretches of barren desert._

_Choosing a direction, I tentatively walked along the etched out path, diligently keeping vigilance of my surroundings, my feeling of suffocating panic having nothing to do with the swelteringly dry heat as the shadows of the vultures circling overhead made their presence known._

_Where did this road lead?_

_What was I meant to see?_

_It felt like hours before I saw the hazy outline of another person._

_Cautiously I made my way forward._

_….I wish I hadn’t._

_I stumbled back from the version of myself that had been stabbed through the heart, turning around in a frantic panic, only to come face to face with Maximoff._

_Her hair matted and clothes speckled with blood._

_One of my own daggers held tight in her hand._

_“I win” she hailed, her eyes wild and grin maniacal as she raised the dagger to stab me in the heart as well._

_Desperate, my arm instinctively went to block her attack, the mirage vanishing in a heated haze of air the moment contact was met._

_Huffing, gasping with fear and adrenaline, I whirled around, hypervigilant for any more unwelcome images...Only to realize the road had changed._

_Instead of a straight path the road was now split in two._

_Ring ring._

_What?_

_Turning my attention down the rougher more jagged path I saw a tollbooth._

_Ring ring._

_It was a trap._

_Ring ring._

_Clearly a bad idea._

_Ring ring._

_I went anyway._

_Ring ring._

_Almost like a force was dictating my movements for me, making my body move against my better judgement._

_Like a puppet master and his toy._

_Ring ring._

_The coolness of the glass door beneath my fingertips left an uneasy chill down my spine._

_Ring ring._

_Lifting the phone off of the receiver I tentatively brought it up to my ear._

_“Hello?”_

_Hhhiiissssss._

_Startled I pulled the phone back._

_In place of the hard plastic were the sleek scales of a black snake, its tail winding its way around my hand, its mouth open wide as it lunged its fangs at me in a deadly strike._

Mother always told Thor and I to be aware of our dreams.

To search deeper for their hidden meanings.

Their warnings.

….But I didn’t want to look deeper.

….I didn’t have to.

I knew none of it meant anything good.

And it was the same story night after night.

Consistent repetitive nightmares are never a good sign.

I told myself that it was just because of Avengers’ Day.

That the feeling of foreboding would subside.

….I was a fool.

"Our Daddy!"

"Mommy said so!"

Of course the greatest lies are always the ones we tell ourselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Hint hints for parts 3 and 5 of the series ;)
> 
> Snakes also symbolize danger.
> 
> Dreaming of a black snake means there is something dark and ominous lurking in your life. It could either be a sign that you should be cautious of potential danger. Dreaming about a snake bite is a warning sign about a toxic person or challenging situation that could harm you, or your unconscious is trying to send you a wake-up call to take action with something.
> 
> Below is some additional symbolism from the dream if you're interested in some other foreshadowing ;)
> 
> https://exemplore.com/dreams/Dream-of-Snake-Meaning-and-Symbol-of-Snake-in-Dreams 
> 
> https://www.auntyflo.com/dream-dictionary/vulture 
> 
> https://www.auntyflo.com/dream-dictionary/phone-call
> 
> https://www.dreams.metroeve.com/desert/#.XiudKWhKjIU 
> 
> https://www.dreammean.com/m/mirage 
> 
> https://www.auntyflo.com/dream-dictionary/road 
> 
> https://dreamastromeanings.com/dreams-about-being-stabbed-interpretation-and-meaning/


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